Photographic Enlargement: mrwaterslide (AKA "sickboy")

[Uh, listen, if you are under eighteen, you need to get one of your parents to read this and see if it is okay for you to read it. I'd suggest you ask your dad. If he says it's okay, then go ahead. If you ask your mom, she's going to say no, but only because she's going to get excited herself, and she'll be embarrassed, and, to tell the truth, she's not going to want to share her excitement with you. She's going to want to keep it as her guilty pleasure. And that's okay. But, like I said, ask your dad]

 

One of my contacts (I think she likes me) asked me recently, "What kind of music do you listen to?" I told her a few things, but I also said that I was going to talk about it generally, to all my flickr friends. I feel kind of presumptuous talking about my musical tastes, and I will tell you, in my experience, girls have more imaginative soundtracks playing in their pretty little heads than guys do, but there you go.

 

Anyway, this summer, I haven't listened to one particular cd or one particular kind of music. I've listened, obsessively, over and over, to one song. And this is the story of that song.

 

Okay, the phone rings one day. It must have been 1986, because she was born in 1968---in fact, it must have been August 9, 1986. There's this girl on the line, and I had no idea who she was. She says, "Hello, is this John? This is Gillian Anderson."

 

Okay, so what? I had no idea who she was, and I have no idea, even to this day, how she found me.

She said, "Listen, it's my eighteenth birthday, and I'm coming over, and we're going to finish a record together."

 

I liked the sound of her voice. It was girlish, but assured. She seemed to know how to handle herself.

 

I said "Okay." I told her where I lived, and she said, "Give me forty-five minutes."

 

When she got to my apartment, she knocked on the door. She was as cute as twenty-five buttons. She was as happy as a crow in a frog patch. This is just one of those transcendent moments that life is all about. She said, "Come out to my car, I need you to help me carry the gear in."

 

She had alll this fancy recording equipment. A big fancy tapedeck, microphones, cords, amplifiers, all this stuff. It took her about half-an-hour to set it up. "Listen," she said, "I want you to look at my driver's license."

 

The driver's license confirmed that this day, August 9, 1986, was in fact her 18th birthday. "Okay, now what?" I say.

 

"You'll see," she says. Then she proceeds to stand in my living room, with me in a chair, and she takes off all her clothes. I mean, ALL her clothes. She had on little pink panties, and she took those off and she kicked off her sandals and she was buck naked.

 

"You like?" she said.

 

Of course I like. Was I an idiot?

 

"Well don't like too much," she says, "because you've no doubt got the wrong idea. Whatever you're thinking, that's not what this is all about."

  • John Van Noate 5y

    And just then, the music started, for the second time. I was tentative at first. Her beautiful buttocks were the bongos, and I didn't want to slap them too hard. "Go on," she said, "Give it to me."

    So I did. I got excited. I got crazy. I got wild. It was slap slap slap, slappity slappity slappity slap slap. Oh god, it was fun. Sometimes she would squirm a bit, and I would have to concentrate to hit my target. It seemed to last as long as the universe will last, and then a little bit longer, and then it was over. "Oh God," she said. "Oh Gracious God in Heaven, that was wonderful."

    And then she stood up, and she put on all her clothes, and we carried the recording gear out to her car, and she gave me a little peck on the cheek, and she said, "I'll send you the tape," and she drove away.

    And that was this song by this fellow Loscil, that I've been listening to this summer. I swear, and I don't swear that often [and this is the real truth, the only TRUTH, and you're just going to have to trust me on this one] that I've listened to this cut 500 times. I have it in my car stereo on repeat, and when I go to visit my mother, it plays up and back. It's on my other computer over at my apartment, and it plays endlessly, on an Itune loop. When I made Loscil a station on Pandora, (and God I love this detail) it was the first song they played. And I didn't know the name of the cut. I never read the labels. But finally, after I'd listened to it about 200 times, I looked at the label, and the name of the cut was "Sickboy." Find it. Savor it. Gillian says hi.
  • John Van Noate 5y

    I know you're looking at this fellow in the picture, and you're kind of skeptical that that's mrwaterslide. Whatever. Maybe you're wondering what this fellow is doing. He's making a chastity belt for his daughter. mrwaterslide wants to write a short story called, "About Your Daughter's Chastity Belt," but he's too lazy to write it. If you would write it, we'll sign our names together. Try to target The New Yorker crowd as our audience. They like to be titillated, and the story needs to have a few lame surprises. The girl sleeps with the boyfriend (or uncle) who cuts the chastity belt off, and then she kind of shrugs, and goes away to boarding school.

    We'll split the profits.
  • Terry Barrow 5y

    A pleasing vignette, with a (memorable) beat.
    Seems more LuckyBoy than Sickboy, but that's just me.
  • John Van Noate 5y

    sickboy is luckyboy, no doubt about it.
  • Paul Jackson 5y

    King Arthur was setting out on the quest for the Holy Grail. Knowing that he would be gone for some time he had a chastity belt made for Guinivere. He then summoned all the Knights of Camelot to the Round Table.

    "I am setting out for the Quest of our lifetimes and I entrust my most noble and perfect Knight with the key my greatest Treasure..my dear Guinevere. To you, Sir Lancelot, I entrust this key. Guard it with your life until I return"

    So Arthur and his remaining brave Knights set out on their quest. They had only been gone 20 minutes from Camelot when Galahad said "My Lord, see- a rider approaches..look at that dust..see how he rides..."

    Up galloped Lancelot and pulled up to a skidding halt.

    "My Lord, my Lord, you have entrusted me with the wrong key !"
  • John Van Noate 5y

    Well, ART_ NAHPRO, you've got a good beginning. You're going to have to flesh it out a bit before we send it to the New Yorker. Could Guinevere by any chance cook? Could you get food in there somehow.? Why couldn't Lancelot and Guinevere satisfying their cravings with other forms of love-making? Bill Clinton was able to control himself.
  • Mr. Sable 5y

    Lucky bongo boy.
  • Sue from Ontario 5y

    I read your account of youthful experiment, but I loved the photo, and wanted to know more about the circumstances.
    A woman.
  • John Van Noate 5y

    this photo, smrisk? not sure i know much about this photo. it's just an occupational i picked up somewhere that's a rather fancy piece of equipment he's got there it seems rather elaborate to be for making jewelry. don't know he seems quite comfortable in that outfit it's not the first time he ever sat down to do this work the photo seems to validate his expertise somehow

    bout all i know who is "a woman"?
  • Terry Barrow 5y

    Like a diamond in the rough, mrwaterslide has many facets - and lustful memories.
  • clotho98 5y

    I dunno. Reminds me too much of this guy I know. He apparently believes in something called "Christian Domestic Discipline". Sort of ruins the whole idea for me.
  • John Van Noate 5y

    Is this a church I can join?
  • clotho98 5y

    Must be. They have an official organization, and website and everything.
  • John Van Noate 5y

    I suppose they'll want me to tithe. I'm not in to that. Can I just pick out the stuff I like, and practice that?
  • clotho98 5y

    I kinda think that's what they're doing.
  • Paul Jackson 5y

    Oh..maybe I should have told you the one about Sir Lunchalot and the Lady of Shallots and Sir Breadevere
  • bootpainter 5y

    I'm thinking wouldn't a chastity belt hurt the hand of the spanker? Also, "Bill Clinton" and "able to control himself " ....only where pretzels were concerned, I bet.
  • John Van Noate 5y

    Well, Gillian Anderson wasn't wearing a chastity belt, if that's what you're thinking. Maybe she took it off and left it out in her car.
  • bootpainter 5y

    The X Files girl? She did not need a chastity belt in any case. Or maybe the presence of one was what accounted for her chaste relationship with Mulder.
  • Györgyi Gábor 4y

    COOL SHOT!!! : seen in :

    "Remember Time - Retro style Group"
    Post 1 Award minimum 1 (Sweeper IS active)


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Uploaded on August 22, 2010
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