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coma | by rcameraw
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coma

in one definition, a coma is the nebulous envelope around the nucleus of a comet. in another, it is a sort of mental limbo that i once came close to being forever lost in. what doctors said i managed to achieve was a type of short term amnesia. i've since come to recognize that there's a brief gap in my life, after being the unfortunate recipient of a violent blow to the head, that subsequently caused me to become physically ill from experiencing such severe confusion and complete unfamiliarity with everything that all my senses are required to constantly absorb.

the first memory from it that i can recall was when i ripped out my IV in the hospital bed, as i desperately tried to pretend that i knew the answers to questions a toddler would know. i recollect frantically scanning the room for a calendar, glimpse a tree outside the window, just a single visual clue i could use to at least correctly determine the current season as they asked me what the date was. i had no idea when my birthday was, or that it was only a few days away.

it left me able to personally understand why no one can remember their own birth and infancy. it helped me discover that sanity is rooted solely in recognizing that our entire comprehension of everything we know is based on the unending interpretation of a unique life-long foundation composed of prior experience and subconcious association of all the memories and emotions that come with intelligent survival in a place and time that can only be initially percieved as nothing more than sustained existance within a state of pure and overwhelmingly raw abstraction..

then again, it's likely that only the insane would think and attempt to spontaneously iterate paragraph-long caps-free life contradictions under an online photograph of liquid wax floating in water that i think resembles a comet passing through a gathering of celestial bodies. i find it fascinating that we are both simultaneously limited by and would be lost without, perspective and context

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Taken on March 27, 2008