One Woman Wiggles Her Booty While The Rest Stand Perfectly Still

Stuff White People Like #67 Standing Still at Concerts


Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, or love, or breaking up with someone, or not being able to date someone, or death.


So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.


The result is Belle and Sebastian concerts that essentially looks more like a disorganized line of people than a music event.


If you find yourself invited to a concert with a white person, do NOT expect to dance. Prepare yourself for three hours of standing reasonably still. It is also advised to get a beer or (if legal) a cigarette so you have something to do with your hands. Although it is acceptable to occasionally raise one hand and point just above the stage.


Note: the addition of the drug ecstasy changes everything.


Stuff White People Like, Christian Lander


look at this picture large or hear what was playing at the time.

  • Jesse Millan 7y

    A couple sample songs from Ra Ra Riot that you can listen to for free:

    Dying Is Fine
    Each Year
  • Iriskten 7y

    This is freaking hilarious, I saw it in the Funny Ha Ha! Group
  • T-Lee 7y

    This is so funny, and so much more meaningful with your commentary!

    Thanks for the link to what was playing at the time. Very fun. I just bought the album, "The Rhumb." I would have been the little white girl dancing along with "Wiggles." :-)
  • Jesse Millan 7y

    Awesome, thanks T and Kristine =)
  • Ali Wolf 7y

    I really like the picture! Great color. But this white girl does not stand still!
  • rachna kriti 4y

  • rachna kriti 4y

    the excerpt is hilarious, especially with your pic.
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Taken on September 22, 2008
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