Dark Matter Dressing
19 bagels, cut up and dried thoroughly
2 lbs loose hot Italian sausage
1 lb bacon
1 cup blanched, peeled, coarsely chopped almonds
1 lb carrots
1 head celery
2 medium yellow onions
Turkey broth made from the necks and giblets
Fry the bacon. Remove to a dish. Crumble when cool/dry enough to handle
Fry the sausage in the bacon grease. Remove with a slotted spoon to the same container as the bacon.
Fry the almonds and vegetables in the grease. You want them cooked, but still pretty stiff/crisp.
Transfer the vegetables to a large pot (I use a 25 quart stock pot, but smaller could be used).
Add 3-4 quarts of turkey broth to the pot and bring to a boil.
When it's at a rolling boil, add the meat.
Lower the heat and let it simmer for a few minutes.
Add the bagels. Stir it up so it's good and mixed. If it's too dry, add more turkey broth (or water if you're out of stock). If it's too wet, let it simmer some, uncovered.
As soon as your turkeys come out of the oven, put the mix in a baking dish and put it as high as possible in the oven.
Bake it for at least 30 minutes at whatever temp the things you're warming/cooking in the lower rack need. A little bit of burnt on top is good.