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Slovenskofant Demonstrates Health and Safety in Slovenia | by judge_mental
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Slovenskofant Demonstrates Health and Safety in Slovenia

Special Report from Alf Pissed and Vanda Navafag in Sub-Pannonia

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Shortly after dawn, I spotted this one opposite Super Li as I was walking home, after another gruelling (part train, part walk, part hitch-hike) three-hour overnight journey from Maribor to Ptuj (22km).


Congratulations for not drunk driving, mate, although I can't believe there isn't a tax on this in Slovenia. Strictly speaking he has built a hotel.


Now the local economic strategy is based on creating as many alcoholics with lung cancer as we can. 286 years after smoking was banned in Berlin, 69 years after Roffo showed a heavy smoker could inhale four kilograms of tar in 10 years, and 56 years on from Sir Richard Doll's epidemiological nailing of the tobacco coffin, what is the situation in Ptuj?


The situation is that drinkers, among them medical workers, economists, sporty types and teachers, bitter at the EU's indoor ban, can't wait for the pub's lock-in to begin so they can light up their torches of freedom* and show their powerful addiction to individualism.


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Meanwhile, Years Per Life Lost (YPLL) per death resulting from the acute effects of alcohol accounted for relatively more mortality in younger persons, an average of 30 years of life lost for each death associated with excessive blood alcohol levels, in contrast with a YPLL of merely 12 for each death from alcoholic cirrhosis.


We hope this trend in favour of the sudden-splat type of death continues. A police car, ambulance and breakdown truck is much healthier for the economy than years of underperformance and months of long, slow, lingering expiry in hospital.


Statistically, you can see that alcohol is, in this way, helping to reduce the smoking deaths which take decades.


And deaths from house fires caused by unconscious, smoking drunks mean that smoking is cutting the alcoholism statistic.


So it's a win win. All we need now is something to cut the number of statisticians.


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With an average 72.6 road traffic accidents per 100,000 inhabitants from 1994 to 2001, Slovenia was among the countries with the highest in the WHO European Region. In 2000 Slovenia ranked second only to Greece (216.1 per 100,000) with 77.4 traffic accidents per 100,000, narrowly beating Croatia (75.7). You beat Croatia! Yay!


RTA deaths appear to have peaked in 2007 with a 27% drop in 2008. The number will probably now rise again unless better ways of counting can be found.


Otherwise those 2008 victims who are currently 27% less dead will experience increasingly less afterlife than under previous, more religious, governments.


With young people you can always rely on unquestioning herd behaviour - actually all people. Luckily any party poopers and physical wrecks over 25 who might spoil the fun are at home, in eerily quiet villages, in bed with the lights out by 9 o'clock.


So we're all going to die. And waste everybody's money doing it. Hurry up then, so we foreign devils can buy some more of your nice cheap houses!


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But while you're encouraging one another to stay out all night in pursuit of this premature/cancelled ageing (and there are other things to do) how about some fucking public transport when we've had enough of it?


Probably then we'd get a drunk bus driver. Or maybe anyone old enough and sober enough to drive weekend nights - when everyone needs it the most - just loves their family too much.


But typically creative, Slovenes have already hit on a solution to this dilemma.


The only time I accidentally entered the driver's compartment of a Slovenian train, I was surprised to find an entire family crammed into the tiny space.


Next to the wife and younger son was a boy about 7, sat on daddy's knee, helping him to drive the train, his hand on the dead man's handle as we sped through the tar-black night.





Roffo, Z Krebsforsch 49, 588 (1940).


*Zapeljive dame: Odkriti skrivnost kako si dobil svobodo izraziti

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Taken on July 4, 2009