297/365 ass manager
note: for submission to getty images, i had to remove my name and title from the desk plaque. :-(
so, i was perusing craigslist this morning, as i do each morning, just to get an idea of "what's out there" for singularly skilled people such as myself. as usual, not a whole hell of a lot.
suddenly, there it was. ass manager. i thought to myself excitedly, who better than i to fill this position as, by god, i've dealt with just about every kind of ass there is in life. ass-hats, ass-wipes, assholes. you name it. i can deal with 'em.
and then i thought, wait a minute. is this like, managing one ass? like, the boss is the ass? (yes, sir, the Ass will see you now.) or is it like, an ass wrangler like on a movie set how they have the "snake wrangler" or the "baby wrangler". just how many asses would i be managing? or maybe it's the customers that are the "asses". i'd be managing them?
so many questions. well, i thought, what the hell do i have to lose? i'm an unemployed cookie baker. how much more degrading can an "ass manager" be. and, i thought hopefully, maybe i'll get to wear all the designer clothes i have in my closet that i have no earthly use for.
so, i think i'll send in my very short resume.
Ass Manager. has kind of a nice ring to it, don't you think?
(please see craigslist ad in Comments)
and just cause i like this song and it kind of goes with the theme (although, this is a short jacket, here you go: