I can't describe today in one general statement; it was bi-polar at its best.
This morning I went to the Toledo Zoo for what I thought was an interview for an audio/visual technician position. Towards the end of the interview, it became apparent to me that it was for a position that I didn't initially apply for that would 1. pay less and 2. be of less interest to me. Shame, I was really excited about that position and the possibility of working at the zoo. But life goes on.
I got home and starting cleaning but soon after became tired and took a 3 hour nap from 1-4. I awoke upset from having "wasted" my afternoon - my grandma had done my laundry for me while I was sleeping. Most would think "how nice of her" but I hate when people do things for me (usually); it feels like I am a burden. Perhaps that is indeed what I've become.
Mariah and I have been wanting to move out on our own for quite some time now. And with each passing week, I realize that dream will continue to be so for quite some time. I am poor, hopeless, defenseless, and just trying to get off this treadmill. I need to move forward.