days before the earthquake & why i don't want to be a trillionaire, scott richard 1989
i worked in a sandwich/hot dog/muffin shop right at the corner of grant and columbus and broadway back in 1989 in san francisco.
i lived across town on Broderick near Divisadero.
we mostly had "seedy" customers from the clubs nearby and tourists -- it was easy to tell the difference between the clients and a lot of the dancers would come in to get snacks when they were on break and they were always very kind to me.
the day of the earthquake, i was serving a tourist group when the door frame of the entrance did a loud snap.
that was it.
and it wasn't like there was a ton of shaking in anyway that i could recall.
indeed, it was very much like when the bus would routinely roar by. the only real difference was the SNAPPING of the wooden frame bar.
our store was run off gas & electric, so when the power went out, we were the only ones who could still serve stuff.
i remember my boss very clearly, though i've given it no thought at all over the past 27 years.
but greed does strange things to men's eyes.
they start to look dumb and corrosive, like sharks or bears.
it's basically a predatory look, but to me it's like staring into a man's weaknesses and seeing the things he's most afraid of or controlled by when he's most unaware that he's showing them off.
you can LITERALLY see the "mommy" issues and the "daddy" issues and the "will i succeed or fail" issues. the grapplings with ethics and moralities and the queries for all manner of excuses.
it's like a chain of linked traumas that have rendered a human male incapable of seeing past the PROFITS.
my fking gawd how people love their fking money.
but i figured, he's making money and we're still feeding people in an emergency situation, so it works out for me. it wasn't like i was getting paid more.
anyway, i worked for a few hours after the quake to help him out with those issues and around sunset when it started to get dark i walked up telegraph hill and looked out over the city as it was getting black and thought, "hmmmmm, this oughta be interesting."
i started my motorcycle and made the journey across town.
and though it was a peaceful passage, there were people all over the streets at places that would normally not be populated at all.
other than that, no mayhem that had been feared by the media was taking place.
the city is still very much like it was back then.
i'm glad of that.
there's a mexican food restaurant where the old sandwich/bakery shop used to be. they kicked down the wall and expanded over. it looks like a good restaurant.
mexican food has, had, and always will be my favorite comfort food. i've been a fan since way back as far as i can remember.
i can still remember the lineage of all my favorite mexican food restaurants starting with Carlos' in carmichael, california. i was very young but i remember thinking what a great idea it was to have as many mexican food restaurants as was possible. it was genius simplicity of nutrition in my estimation.
and for the record, i spent most of my young life in san diego, a border town passage way.
so carmichael was a brief and MOST fortunate to have a delicious mexican food restaurant.
my favorite from san diego at this time was bazaar del mundo, which i try to visit every time i'm down that way which is never. it is in the old town section of san diego near the offices my dad worked in when i was young.
and of course both sacramento and san diego had taco bells.
the one in carmichael had the original shape and bell design with outdoor seating.
i still love taco bell all these decades later and can remember when they had items that cost a dime.
even then i remember thinking that that was a pretty darn good deal.
and i only eat the same things i did back then -- the meatless burritos and the tostadas. lately, though, after the emergence of the soft taco, my most favorite taco bell food items are the soft taco put into the middle of a bean burrito with green sauce.
but taco bell was always fast food.
carlos' mexican restaurant was a sitdown place that you could literally fall in love with -- they had an all-you-can-eat sundae bar and chip bar with salsa and an all-you-can-drink soda fountain.
i didn't grow up on soda so my favorite flavor when confronted with so many options was to mix four of them together -- fanta orange, mug rootbeer, bubble up and fanta cola.
and i gotta say it, i never grew up seeing mexicans as anything but people and also as people who were ECONOMIC REFUGEES of sorts -- somewhere above homeless and on the run from la migra. the shame of "not belonging" would hang upon them and emanate.
it made me sad when those who weren't "legal" would duck their heads and look away.
this shame of being.
it made me feel like i was -- by extension of existence -- a conspiratorial collaborator with their illegal status.
and i LITERALLY didn't think i was.
i thought this: if you support the U.S. laws, you can't hire them. but my dad's company profited off of their invisible labor. they used them all over their sites.
and i thought that was anti-american.
it was an abuse of CITIZENSHIP RIGHTS in my estimation and i resented these AMERICANS (i don't care what their color was/is) for abusing my CITIZENSHIP RIGHTS in their act of treason.
cuz that's what it was and still is.
it's treasonous behavior to hire outside and illegal work sources to replace inner work sources.
and it's FKING SELFISH AND STUPID.
so i kinda got a bit of a thing against THE AMERICANS who abused our citizenship rights and are trying to SHIFT the blame onto a class of humans that they ALSO ABUSED.
from where i was standing, the WHITES from the lower WISHING THEY WERE HIGHER class were the ones who should have felt guilty.
they were the MAJORITY of people collaborating and aiding and abetting 99% of the illegal work-force trade.
they were CHEATING on their taxes and they were CHEATING on the bids and they were CHEATING on the work system and the FEDERAL AND STATE government.
and, they were funding independent families throughout mexcio.
we don't think about how U.S. dollars that were not taxed or accounted for literally went south and started to fund little empires.
that's too complicated for CHEATERS to imagine.
they won't see that it has the same devious and harmful effect that usury does.
it creates power and wealth imbalances without any checks to stop craziness from erupting when the balance breaks.
if you don't believe me watch anthony bourdain's first series of shows. it only lasts two seasons because he goes off the rails on cocaine or meth or something and he also accidentally discovers that the guys working in his kitchen are running their own cartel organization back in the hometown in mexico and have taken over to some degree.
the entire "show" crashes under the weight of all this "accidental footage" but it gives a VERY BRIGHT ILLUMINATION quality to how far an american DOLLAR can go in mexico.
so tony paying five guys good wages in new york city was translating back to total ownership and control of a village.
anyway, on this side of the border it was OBVIOUS who was using the mexican illegal trade force.
to all of us standing by on the sidelines watching we could CLEARLY SEE a bunch of WHITE developers and WHITE builders and WHITE contractors and WHITE home improvement people hiring mexican men off those walls -- sofku if you vote against them now and used them then.
you're just a HYPOCRITE and don't deserve your own citizenship. YOU sold us out.
YOU broke the law.
YOU aided and abetted in funding foreign people.
so don't start in on some MORAL argument about illegal aliens.
it was fking OBVIOUS to EVERYONE watching who was benefitting off untaxed labor.
we just forgave their "industrious" CRIMINALITY and the economic hardships it placed onto the "system" as more and more "undocumented" workers arrived -- undocumented means that the IRS can't collect nada from them.
and those industrious criminals with WHITE SKIN spent a lot of time riding their jet skis and snorting coke in their new homes.
typical -- do all of that and then when you're a broke ass failure you will then blame them for your CHEATING ways and ends?
puts a whole different spin on the silly notion of "white" supremacy. lol, biggest dks and losers around if you ask me. fking cry baby whites who now feel like they're being displaced.
more like stupidity and collusion car-crashing with economic and social consequences of dire unreachableness in the long run.
so, FOR ME, it's weird to me to hear WHITE people always going on and on about the illegal aliens. i understand the laws and i agree with them.
i think borders and laws are important.
but PUT THOSE WHITE PEOPLE IN JAIL FIRST.
they PIGPROFITTED off of the "problem".
they MADE THE PROBLEM and fed it and eventually set it loose with "its" families into "our" nation state.
take some responsibility.
you can't go that far and then blame the problem you created and act like it's a fking "problem" when it's not -- it's kids who grew up here. it's PEOPLE.
and you brought them here so fking be a PERSON to them.
they are FKING PEOPLE!!!!
and every COLONISTIC empire deals with this dilemma.
it's one of the RUBS of fking over other peoples.
weirdly, though, we have no DEBTORS' prison for the bad loan takers among us. they walk freely.
so many WHITE DEBTOR CRIMINALS walking freely among us!!!!
they who are the BIGGEST criminals in our society and owe their allegiances to outside powers who control their debt -- they want you to think that it's the "mexican" who is bad.
well go meet 25 mexicans and then come back and tell me what YOUR EXPERIENCE has taught you.
don't listen to me or anyone else.
just go, do, have the meet and greet.
be brave and you will find yourself in others instead of finding a hated demon.
and this pattern of delusion, of simply fabricating FAKE responsibility claims that are SUPER ETHNICALLY DISCRIMINATING is simply BULLSHT.
white contractors up and down the ladder are legally at fault for their crimes against the state and federal government.
and we need to debunk it.
it's the same thing with medz that make people KILL people,
we NEVER blame the drub dealers.
not ONCE NOT YET NOT EVER!!!!!!
500 fking thousand suicides from poison drugs IN THE LAST TEN YEARS just here in the united states and no blame on ANYONE!?!??!?!
WHAT THE FK!?!??!
are we INSANE!??!?!
and what's up with that?
(the united states protects this industry, that's what's up with it. it's a TRILLION DOLLAR ANNUAL BUSINESS. the biggest cash industry on earth right now!!!! and we turn a BLIND EYE!!!!)
there is a russian aphorism that goes like this --
a sacred space is rarely empty.
to help soulless white americans understand this better, let me translate it liberally:
poor people will always be envious of the rich.
the swiss believe that envy creates unhappiness.
DEAR RICH PEOPLE & POOR PEOPLE, stop creating so much UNHAPPINESS.
i don't want to be a trillionaire.