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Energy Ombudsman Valentine's | by Paul Bommer
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Energy Ombudsman Valentine's

Energy Ombudsman Valentine


Last week I was approached by the lovely people at the Poetry Society in London.


They, in turn, had been contacted by the Energy Ombudsman, a body which keeps a check on the practices of the various Energy Suppliers in this country, to compose a St. Valentine's Day poem, and had commissioned the following rhyme by Matt Harvey.


The poem is about the end of the affair we all seem to experience once the honeymoon period with a new energy supplier is over. My job was to create an image to accompany the text, and I came up with this idea of Cupid caught haplessly and hopelessly in the cables of an electricity pylon.


It’s not me, it’s you

by Matt Harvey


I admit that it appalled me

that day you first cold-called me


but you charmed me, won me over

told me I would be in clover


and I succumbed to your advances

thought: what the heck, I’ll take my chances


I told the Doubting Thomases

that you would keep your promises


you’d said that you would care for me

that you’d always be there for me


oh how very wrong of me

I should have thought more carefully


all that warmth and bonhomie

now seems like such hot air to me


for when I called to clarify

the startlingly high tariff I


was on, you proved elusive

and remarkably reclusive

for one so formerly effusive


in breach of all known etiquette

you started playing hard-to-get


left me feeling so much smaller

as if I’m the nuisance caller


with designs on your affection

which is vexing and perplexing


I don’t think it would hurt to see

a bit of old world courtesy


so I’m parting from your company

who’s dumping who? You’re dumping me


constructively dismissing me

I trust you’ll soon be missing me


and then you’ll once again change tack

predictably you’ll call me back


and find you’re waiting in a queue

to hear, when you at last get through


Goodbye. It isn’t me. It’s you.

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Taken on February 13, 2012