The Phoenix Process
"Whether a marriage or relationship survives the heat of a Phoenix Process is not really the issue here. Something much greater is at stake when we choose to learn and grow in the crucible of love. When trouble visits a relationship-a dance with the Shaman Lover, a long period of deadness, a shift in roles, a change in expectations, we are faced with weighty choices: Will we turn away and go back to sleep? Will we fall unconsciously into meaningless destruction, vengeance, or acting out? Or will we use the dangerous force of the heart's longing wisely, and put it in service of our spiritual growth? Will the pain make us better, stronger, kinder, bigger? Will we learn from a betrayed devotion or a broken family so that our mistakes are not repeated over and over and over again? These are the challenges put to those of us whose Phoenix Process occur through the ordeal of a relationship. I pray that the the new relationship you build, with your old partner or with an new one, is a marriage between two whole people, two people who have married the shadow and they light within themselves, and who love the truth as much as they love each other."