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'The Wind' | by Twain Orfan CATCHING UP
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'The Wind'

sim: Flower of Scotland


With Twain's Special Guests !

Twain: 'Welcome ! Please step into my small, yet comfy studio !

[Lam and Lawrence slowly enter]

Twain: [smiling]

Twain: ...and how are you fine

Gentleman doing tonight ?

Lam: Very well, thank you old boy.

Lawrence: I'm doing well also.

Twain: [nods]

Twain: Now, um, ... exactly how much is your total net worth these days ?

[Lam looks over to Lawrence]

Lam: You mean our combined net worth ?

Twain: [nods]

Twain: Are you 'Oprah' wealthy ?

[Lam and Lawrence chuckle]

Twain: What ?

Lawrence: Twain dear chap ..

Lawrence: Oprah has a net worth of over three billion now.

Twain: Really ?!!

Lam: [Nods in agreement]

Lam: Yes. Lawrence and myself put together are probably about 'Jerry Seinfeld' wealth.

Twain: What ?!! His net worth is only 550 Million !

Lam: [shakes his head no]

Lam: You are forgetting about the

residual income from his DVD sales ...

Lawrence: .. and every time one of the Seinfeld episodes is shown on the tele again.

Twain: Ohhhhh ....

Lam: Yes ... Now. Tom Hanks is more in the $550 Million area

Twain: 'Hmmmm'

Twain: Shall we move on ?

Twain: ...Lam , how many children do you have ?

Lam: Actually two.

Lam One lad in college ...

Lam .. and one girl who has left and married.

Twain: Aw .. Congrats !

Twain: And Lawrence ? What about you ?

Lawrence: ... that's rather private

Lam: Skippy has three.

Twain: Skippy has three what ?

Lam: Three children.

Twain: Whaaaat ?!!!!

Twain: That's not possible ?

Lam: Yes it is.

Twain: .. but ? ...

Twain: Skippy is a child ....

Lam: He has three children.

Lam: ..and from what I hear ...

Lam: .. all three are quite brilliant

Lam: [turns to Lawrence and winks]

Lawrence: [smiles back to Lam]

Lawrence: [coughs]

Lawrence: He's correct Twain

Lawrence: Skippy has three ..

Twain: 'Wow !!'

Twain: What do you think Skippy's net worth is ?

Lam: Oh ... incalculable ....

Lawrence: ..indeed. massive.

Twain: Hmm? [Ponders]

Twain: Lawrence .....

Lawrence: Yes ?

Twain: Any chance my new photo would make it into your group The Galvanized Lens ?

Lawrence: [Takes a quick look at the photo]

Lawrence: ' ....not a chance ..'

Twain: What ??!

Lawrence: It lacks .........

Lawrence: [Opens his right hand ..... sweeps it through the air ...closes his hand into a tight fist and breathes out as he speaks ..]

Lawrence: lacks ....LIFE !!!!!

Twain: ....oh....okay then

Twain: Lam ?

Lam: Yes ?

Twain: Your Landscapes .. the beautiful 'Gold' .. how do you do that ? Is that PS ?

Lam: [smiles]

Lam: No.. No editing programs are needed. I only need attend one of our local fairs .. bring my photo to a spinning paint wheel.

Add a little gold paint .. spin the wheel ... and there you have it !

Twain: I see .......

Twain: What about the beautiful glowing sun in the background ?

Lam: One of my grandson's draws that in ... Crayola Crayon Golden Sun #432

Twain: Really ?!!

Lam: [nods] Quite simple really.

Twain: Lawrence ?

Lawrence: Yes Twain ?

Twain: Any chance you'll send me a flickr mail inviting me to one of those 'secret invites' to do a fancy Portrait of myself with a 'Theme' ... ?

Lawrence: Hm .. Let me give that a think .........

Lawrence: .....not a snow balls chance in hell ... sorry.

Twain: ..but ? .. but .. you've invited Mya in the past .

Lawrence: Are you comparing yourself with Mya ?

Twain: [Looks at his avatar in a mirror] ...

Twain: .. Well face is

Lawrence: Let's have a look at Mya's photo stream shall we ?

[All three look at Mya's photo stream] :

[30 minutes later]

[All three men are left breathless ... dapping handkerchiefs about their faces, chins, necks ]

Lawrence: Now do you see why

Twain: [Breathless] [Nods yes]

Lawrence: Not only beauty ...

Lawrence: Creativity, unique in style, unlike anyone else.

Lawrence: Does Mya use PS ?

Twain: No .. I don't think so ...

Lawrence: Amazing !!!

Lam: [clears his throat]

Lam: ...I thought we were talking about my wonderous Landscapes ?

Lam: ...I also have a very high quality clothing line ...

Twain: True .. you both are uber wealthy and well known.

Twain: Who else on flicker has Two facial flickr accounts ?!

Lam: for a cigar Lawrence?

Lam: [offers Lawrence a Gurkha Royal Courtesan ]

Lawrence: Thank you old chap !

Twain: Isn't that a cuban ?

Lam: Yes .. quite legal where we're from. I can't offer you one're from the States.

Twain: Isn't that literally a one million dollar cigar ?

Lam: Is it ? .. Who's counting ?

[Lam and Lawrence smile a bit]

Lam: .. Twain .... I'd redact that information about Skippy from this silly interview if I were you ..

Twain: Oh ? .. Why ?

Lam: Well ... first off ..

Lam: It isn't true ...

Lam: Secondly .. his team of Lawyers will eat you alive ...

Lawrence: [nods frantically in agreement]

Twain: I suppose it's time to wrap up this interview.

Lam: Yes. I agree. No one has read it.

Twain: With the exception of Skippy.

Lawrence: I was bored after the second sentence.

Lam: I wouldn't bother offering us any parting gifts either

Twain: You are correct .. no one remembers my 'parting gift' interviews from two years ago ..

Lam: With the exception of Skippy.

Lawrence: Yes .. Skippy still remembers the 'Puce' ...

[All three laugh a bit]

'Good ol' Skippy' !!

Lawrence and Lam:

'Bye Twain cheer ho'

Twain: .. Yeh .. thanks for the stop by ... '

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Uploaded on October 26, 2021