'The Enigmatic Furillen'
Twain Orfan Interviewed by:
Art Critic: Eleanor Heartney !
[EH] Now Mr Orfan ..
Twain: Yes ?
EH: How did you come up with the name for this photo ?
Twain: Well . I gave it many an hour of thought .. and then I , um
EH: .....yes ?
Twain: [Laughs a bit]
Twain: Actually. I thought up the name last minute. No thought at all ! [Slaps his knee].
EH: You find that funny ?
Twain: [Looks around the room]
Twain: Um .. No. It's .. I mean ..
Twain: It's horrible ! I should have thought about the name for hours
EH: What does the photo represent ?
Twain: Well .. As Sigmund Freud use to say .. 'sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog ... '
EH: [removes her glasses and gives Twain a stern look]
EH: You realize I flew out from New York just to do this interview with you ?
Twain: [Fidgets a bit .. droplets of water at his brow]
Twain: The, ah, .. photo represents Furillen and, um , .. ya know, .. the mysteries contained within. .......How does that sound ?
EH: [Sighs deeply and marks down some notes]
EH: Your photogenic style is a mystery to many.
Twain: Is .. .hm ? Is that a good thing ?
EH: 'No ! It is not Mr Orfan! '
Twain: [Places a finger to his chin]
Twain: Hmmm ?
EH: The public enjoyed your photos much more a year ago !
Twain: They did ?!
EH: Remember 'High Water'
Twain: [Thinks back]
Twain: Oh yes ! [Big Smile]
Twain: Those were my money years !
EH: This photo is so dark and obtuse. I doubt anyone will look !
Twain: [Raises his hand]
EH: Yes ?!
Twain: What does, .. 'obtuse' mean ?
EH: ....allow me to use it in a sentence for you ...
EH: Twain Orfan is quite obtuse !
Twain: [Stares off into space]
Twain: [Raises his hand again]
EH: Yes ?!! [Sounding exhausted ]
Twain: I still don't get it ?
EH: Never mind !!
Twain: Well ! I never !!
EH: Maybe you should !
EH: Did you win the 'BLOGGIES' ?
Twain: Umm ... I , ..I'm not sure?
EH: Well .. you had better !
EH: Rumor has it that HBO, Showtime and Ubu Productions are all going to pull funding from your little photo projects if you don't win !!
Twain: OH MY GOSH !!!
Twain: Hm? Who is Ubu Productions ?
EH: [Looks as though she has a headache]
EH: They produced Family Ties back in the 80's .. Remember at the end of the show when the Dog would sit and someone would say 'Sit Ubu Sit'
Twain: [Rolls his eyes around his head and blinks twice]
Twain: Yeh ... I kind'a remember
Twain: I know I liked Alex on the show ... if that counts ? !!
EH: You will have zero funds !!
Twain: [Takes a long pause]
Twain: ..........'oh' .............
EH: I do like this photo.
Twain: You do ?
EH: Yes. I hate to admit it.
Twain: [slowly nods]
Twain: You like it because it's obsequious ?
EH: You mean obtuse ?
Twain: Yeh .. that also.
EH: NO ! I just like the feel that it projects from its inner core.
Twain: [Blank look on his face]
Twain: Uh - huh
EH: You really are stupid aren't you ?
EH: Time for me to leave !
Twain: Would you like a parting gift ? Like a tube of Puce ?
EH: No ! Just show me to the door !
[Twain shows her to the door]
EH: Good Day !
Twain: Hm ? Oh .. yes .. Good D
EH: [Door slams ..........]