Melted cheeses
That's a KitchenAid bowl stacked on a saucepan with an inch or two of steaming water, because we lack for a double boiler 'round here.
The cheddar, gruyere, most of the parmesan, and cream cheese are heated until they start to melt, then the 2% milk (or cream, if you've really stopped caring) is added. Slowly, but surely, it becomes like Velveeta's Harvard-educated frenemy.