It'sGreg 12:00am, 5 January 2012
I know I keep repeating this, but lawdy it's so true: you guys always surprise me. I mean...wire? A shirt and a busy background? The TFD potential here was titanic (if you'll pardon the expression). But you guys? Pffft, y'all just made it look easy. And strangely beautiful.

Martin is solidifying his status as Iron Photographer Extraordinaire with this photograph of his hand holding his head. There's something almost rapturous about that pose. Pete's background may not be entirely busy, but who cares? This is a completely charming portrait. And I totally love Carol's fistful of wire. It looks like a cross between those brilliant Maoist Worker Celebration paintings and a sort of Dadaist Ode to an Electical Plug.

I could go on (I really could), but it's now time to slog ahead to Iron Photographer 142. We thought about making this IP project all about Shakespeare's Sonnet #142—you know, the one that begins Love is my sin and mentions profaned...scarlet ornaments as well as an admonition to Root pity in thy heart. We figured y'all could do all sorts of wonderful things with roots, sin and scarlet.

And then we came to our senses. Briefly. And in that brief moment we came up with the following elements:

1 - a bottle
2 - a winter accessory
3 - portrait orientation

The first element needs no real explanation; y'all know what a bottle is. But just in case, a bottle is a rigid container with a neck narrower than its body (as opposed to a jar}. We don't care if the bottle is empty or full (or somewhere in between). We don't care if it's glass or plastic or stone or made out that stuff that Han Solo was encased in. All we care about is that—oh, carbonite, that's what it's called, the stuff Han Solo was encased in, in case you were wondering—it's a bottle.

The second element is a winter accessory. We're talking fashion accessory here, not an accessory to a crime. We DO NOT want any photographs depicting winter crimes committed with the assistance of a member of Utata (although we may amend that, depending on the crime involved—write us before committing the crime, just in case). The accessory can be any item of clothing or apparel worn primarily during the winter season. Hats, gloves, scarfs, snowshoes, things of that sort.

The artistic element is that the photograph must be shot in portrait orientation. The Jamelah and I took turns complaining about this element, because neither of us shoots that way naturally. We decided if we both felt uncomfortable with the format, then it was probably a good idea to try it. Don't ask me to explain any more than that.

As customary, Jamelah was a major factor in the IP element selection process. She made a rather rushed and somewhat incoherent suggestion involving Daniel Craig, some orange jello and a pair of pinking shears, but when I asked her to clarify she said it would be best if she just took a short nap.

That brings us to the part where I ask if anybody has any questions. Does anybody have any questions? If so, please ask them here. I mean, if you can't keep your questions to yourself, then what the hell—ask them here. I suppose you can email me at and ask them direct. In either case, there's a good chance I'll make fun of your question in public. Just so you know.

Some basic housekeeping points to remember: 1) Photos submitted to Iron Photographer must be NEW images. 2) Limit yourself to tagging no more than six photos for this project. 3) Post only one (1) small-size image in this thread. 3a) Okay, you can post a second image IF it's materially different from the first.

Iron Photographer 142 will be published approximately two weeks from today on Wednesday, January 18, 2012.

Tag the photos in the following way: utata:project=ip142.

I think that's it. Is that it? Yes, I believe so. IP 142, in which we all get to play Tim Gunn. You know you want to.
Jeremy Sloan 9 years ago
To my mind, a bottle of Scotch IS a winter accessory.
marctonysmith 9 years ago
I live in LA. It's hard to distinguish our winter accessories from our summer accessories. I suppose I could make sure the clothing isn't white, but I don't think we follow that fashion edict around here.
dnskct 9 years ago
Also a fire ... a big fire.
jamelah 9 years ago
write us before committing the crime, just in case

Are you sure we don't want to maintain plausible deniability, Greg?
Acie Creations 9 years ago
Oh man, the first idea I had is kind of boring. I'm knitting a hat, and I have a mostly empty bottle of wine in the fridge. A self portrait while I'm knititng and a wine bottle in the picture seems kind of boring. Off to find some creative juices.
It'sGreg 9 years ago
a bottle of Scotch IS a winter accessory

Beats the hell out of a fur-lined clutch purse.

I live in LA. It's hard to distinguish our winter accessories from our summer accessories

LA is famous as the Land of the Clutch Purse. It is known.

Also a fire ... a big fire.

Dude, you do NOT want Jamelah to do an IP project that involves anything flammable. Or might be flammable. Or would look interesting if it was in flames.

Are you sure we don't want to maintain plausible deniability, Greg?

How long has it been since any denial you made was plausible? I say that, of course, with nothing but respect and affection.

the first idea I had is kind of boring.

I suppose you could always set it on fire.
Sam Turner 9 years ago
May I just say how much I love the picture wikipedia uses to illustrate the various ways to wear a balaclava?

jamelah 9 years ago
Oooh. Fire.
Amarand Agasi 9 years ago

Mmm...balaclava. Wait, no, that's baklava. :)
arvind k 9 years ago
Exactly my thoughts as well.
dramamath 9 years ago hungry now.
Sam Turner 9 years ago
I'm tempted to make my IP entry an illustration of the various ways to wear baklava.
2812 photography 9 years ago


1. Illustrate the various ways to wear baklava whilst playing a balalaika!
It'sGreg 9 years ago
the various ways to wear a balaclava?

And those are just the ways to wear one on your head.

Oooh. Fire.

Settle down, now. Don't give them a reason to put that ankle bracelet back on.

Illustrate the various ways to wear baklava whilst playing a balalaika

A sentence that only makes sense in Iron Photographer.
dnskct 9 years ago
>Oooh. Fire.

I hereby rescind and revoke the suggestion. Plausible deniability, you know.
M.Christian Posted 9 years ago. Edited by M.Christian (member) 9 years ago
Isn't implausible deniability more fun?

But, your honor, it was never my intent to suggest she burn the Lourve. It was all a misunderstanding. I grew up speaking Balkavalian, an obscure language where, coincidentally, the phrase for suggesting someone check and make sure their shoes are tied properly [when spoken in the formal] sounds veeeeeeeery similar to the English phrase "Also a fire ... a big fire." It's required in my culture to use our native tongue for a week following any waning quarter-moon. Surely you see how a misunderstanding could have occurred!
silliopolous Posted 9 years ago. Edited by silliopolous (member) 9 years ago
Snow tires. The winter fashion accessory for your car.... along with the ice scraper, lock de-icer, andblock heater.


The bottle of scotch. the fashion accessory that makes everyone else look better ...

OK, I might be able to have some fun with this.
Kim Denise 9 years ago
IP 142-2
Violentz 9 years ago
"waiting for snow, the boys, and the booze"
Albino © 9 years ago
tamelyn 9 years ago
Patrick wins.
It'sGreg 9 years ago
I might be able to have some fun with this.

If you don't have fun, you're doing it wrong.

waiting for snow, the boys, and the booze

Patrick's always had a flair for accessorizing.
jamelah 9 years ago
No fire involved at all. I need to try harder.

these are my things by jamelah
OldhaMedia 9 years ago
I gots a new camera. We gots a new year. I will take new photos.

And participate in LOTS of IPs!
LeftCoastKenny 9 years ago
I was going to set the mittens on fire, but Nancy convinced me to donate them to Goodwill instead. Oh, the sacrifices we make for Iron Photographer...

Mitten Tree
nogger 9 years ago
I borrowed my brother's vodka.

Winter warmers
Ozman666 9 years ago
Some Sips by Ozman666
unlearn_art 9 years ago
it's over
arun_al 9 years ago
1 - My daughter's sippy bottle
2 - and her jacket
3 - Shot this on a table top and rotated hence the effect of "things hanging in the air".

Kid's essentials by arun_al
2812 photography 9 years ago
Conundrum: would the shooting of this IP in square format result in the negation of the third element? There is an obvious answer here (don't shoot the thing in square format), but besides the obvious, I'm just curious as to how one might square this circle so to speak.
sonyacita 9 years ago
hot and cold
susiejulie 9 years ago
yip8: by susiejulie
JSegrest1123 9 years ago
Not sure which will keep you warmer.. the hat or the whiskey. :)

Stay warm
Jeremy Sloan 9 years ago
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that 'roots, sin and scarlet' would've made for a glorious project.

Nameless Crime by Jeremy Sloan
Muffet 9 years ago
I often use old bottles as glove dryers, but somehow this picture looked more like a greeting from some alien, hence the title "I come in peace."

I come in peace
-rade- 9 years ago
Amarand Agasi 9 years ago
Less artsy this time, but I had some nice beer. :)

Yelp Fun
arvind k 9 years ago
I wonder how much alcohol there is in this IP so far.
arun_al 9 years ago
IMG_5814 by arun_al
peter_hasselbom 9 years ago
Winter Accessories 5

I'm glad to bee able to add some more alcohol into this IP. Scrutinizing the contributions so far, there are not that much actually.
Steffe 9 years ago

para-lax 9 years ago
yes i waited for a snowstorm and i also took this in the middle of a field. so no one could watch.

that last one
Sam Turner 9 years ago
I didn't go anywhere near a snowstorm for this.

dull life by Sam Turner

But it has been in contact with booze.
hexapetala 9 years ago
cold comfort
2812 photography 9 years ago

Just remember guys, it's not the size of the bottle, but how you use it ... ahem .... um .... yeah.
*pivots around and saunters away whistling nervously*
JeffStewartPhotos Posted 9 years ago. Edited by JeffStewartPhotos (member) 9 years ago
"Father, it has been nine months since my last Iron Photographer submission."

It has been about forty years since I last skated--or tried to skate. My son 'lent' me his skates. It has been one day since my last drink. I am not sure when this wine bottle was emptied, but it was most likely drank at Christmas.

Bottle Blades
Bottle Blades
puck90 9 years ago
IP142 by puck90

IP142 by puck90
Lake Effect 9 years ago
Too much shoveling
karenchristine552 9 years ago
ice cold bottle of Coke!

white coke bottle winter shawl
Mary Jane 2040 Posted 9 years ago. Edited by Mary Jane 2040 (admin) 9 years ago
Bottle rocket

Do more iron photographer. My resolution for 2012.

I *so* wanted her to balance a baklava on top of the bottle.
Nathan deGargoyle 9 years ago
What did religion do for us?

Taking the purple
dnskct 9 years ago
Brown jug; South Carolina ca 1870 by dnskct
overthemoon 9 years ago
when the saints
It'sGreg 9 years ago
And at the very last moment...

iron parfum by It'sGreg
-masru- 9 years ago
I hope there are some minutes left until the very last moment arrives. I have to drive home to post the picture I took this morning ...
whispaws 9 years ago
A world without free information is a world without color.

Hot Pink
pestth 9 years ago
Even if the hot-water bottle is dressed in a winter accessory I thought it might help to have my son dressed in winter accessory too.
help for... ? whatever

ip 142
-masru- 9 years ago
Through the rear window of my car - minus 6 degree celsius.

IP142 | in my car by -masru-
*Jilltoo 4 years ago
Groups Beta