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You know you work in church communications if...

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terrell_sanders says:

Hey folks, help me out. I want to put together a funny list for presentation at MinistryCOM. (I figure you folks could provide better ideas than I could ever come up with...)

Here's a starter: You know you work in church communications if -- you've ever ripped off a TV show logo/title to promote a sermon series.

Any other ideas? Thanks.
1:11PM, 13 May 2008 PDT (permalink)

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@professr says:

...you've used a t as a cross.
ages ago (permalink)

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7ulio.com is a group moderator 7ulio.com says:

The custodian's salary is larger than yours.
ages ago (permalink)

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ImoginNation [Christina Bruns] says:

...you get nauseous at the sight of ComicSans font.
ages ago (permalink)

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Beth Bei says:

You use the word "relevant" to describe most things
ages ago (permalink)

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redtwizzlers says:

the only window you have in your office is from microsoft.
ages ago (permalink)

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terrell_sanders says:

This is good stuff. Much better than I would have come up with! Keep it coming...
ages ago (permalink)

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fattybombatty says:

your portfolio is made up exclusively of fliers
ages ago (permalink)

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momreesa says:

Many sentences directed at you start with, "I don't know if this is possible, but..." or "We need this by tomorrow..."
ages ago (permalink)

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GreenEyed_Monster says:

you've used the same stock photo family advertising children's services, counseling group, and funeral arangements.
ages ago (permalink)

full angle [deleted] says:

A ministry specifically requests papyrus because it "feels" biblical.

A trip to the book store is confused with "a trip to the bible book store"

The Life Drawing in your portfolio is considered "pornography" by staff members.

You must use the Curlz Font when making anything for Women's Ministry.

When you get questioned "Why on earth would anyone need 4gbs of ram?"

You receive a lo-res version of a logo imbeded into a word doc that you have been requested to use on a brochure that is 8.5x5.5 as the header.

When the deadline for the printer to deliver the final piece is Saturday morning they think that means they can keep making changes until midnight the Friday before.

You don't get Mondays off.

If they want to use photography from a church event, its someones snap shots from a disposable camera.

You make an awesome designed flyer and someone inevitably gets a hold of it, cuts it up, photo copies it, and ads comic sans font and their custom info they never gave to you in the first place.

They want to make a logo for everything.

3 type faces are never enough.

Most job requests start with "I know you are busy but you can whip this out in 15 minutes its easy for you!"

You are not allowed to look at anything on the internet.

Taking a class at a "credited" bible college will be funded, taking a class at a state a credited college will not.

If you ask a girl that attends the church out for coffee, they ask when the wedding date is the next day.

About once a week someone makes a comment about how you wear jeans and they all wear suits.

The staff knows your wife is pregnant before you do.

If somehow a spelling error sneaks through, your dedication to serving the Lord is questioned.

Your request for a drawing table is denied, reason: you have a computer...

I could keep going...
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full angle edited this topic ages ago.

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@chadmaag says:

you're told you're not paid to give your opinion, you're only paid to do what you're told to do.
ages ago (permalink)

truthful things [deleted] says:

When someone says, "Hey could you make this bigger and rounder?"
And you can't help blurting out, "That's what she said."
ages ago (permalink)

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rubberfish studio says:

...SeanP has yelled at you.

OR

...you've tried to get a job using his portfolio.
ages ago (permalink)

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Dorothy (vicar of vibe) says:

@paulcarlson...you've used a t as a cross.
...you've used an x as a cross.
ages ago (permalink)

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GreenEyed_Monster says:

after an 80 hour work week you are told by the other staff "I wish I could just sit around and draw pictures all day for my job"

or...
You develop Adult ADD because you are working on 30 different projects all at the same time
Originally posted ages ago. (permalink)
GreenEyed_Monster edited this topic ages ago.

humorous pocket [deleted] says:

you're not allowed to be creative.

the other departments think that text over a stock image is considered your best designs.

you exclusively use itstockphoto.com and dafont.com for all your stock photography and typeface needs. ("typefaces cost how much?!?!?")

everyone in the church thinks they can ask you to do work for their "business" but they aren't willing to pay beyond the "you work at church" rate.

your workspace is the only space on staff without a cross, motivational poster or one of those multiple-image Jesus images.

OMG!!! I freaking kid you not!!! I JUST (as I was typing this) got a call from some random dude in the congregation asking if we could make his powerpoint presentation into a movie DVD!!!! Seriously!?! What am I, freaking GeekSquad? Look in the yellowpages for a company that does that... just 'cause I work for a church doesn't mean I'm going to take care of your personal projects for a lunch!

Ugh... that call wore me out, I'll think of some other ones later.
ages ago (permalink)

humorous pocket [deleted] says:

I just put this in a doc and emailed it to the rest of my staff... this is great!
ages ago (permalink)

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Joe Cavazos says:

you wished every meeting you went too had a "apple z"

every-time you dress-up for work staff ask you if you have a interview somewhere else.

you get asked what program do you use to do that? (and then they assume they can go buy the same thing and be just as good)

You invest all your 401k in Google, apple & Redbull!

if you're asked "just use a pic from the web" when working on a department brochure.

you can't attend the NAB Show cause it's in Vegas!

the church logo changes more often then the church marquee.

you are consider the official IT guy just cause your mac automatically connects to the network.

you have a apple sticker on your car
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Joe Cavazos edited this topic ages ago.

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@chadmaag says:

for you, coffee isn't merely a beverage, it's a food group.

when watching commercials on TV, you can readily identify the fonts used.

Ministry heads are constantly trying to prove they know more about design than you do.

On more than once occasion you've had a ministry head complain about "too much empty space" in your design, your attempts to get them to understand that "negative space is a good thing" falls on deaf ears.

Ministry heads want to be able to update their areas of the church website, but have zero understanding as to how websites work.

You have an uncanny inability to say the word "no".

Twitter is not a double entendre, it's a way of life.

If you hear the word "blogosphere" one more time....

You have actually used the words "kerning, leading, trapping, and gutter" in the same sentence, in public, and you were the only person who understood what you were saying.

You've attempted to get ministry heads to understand DPI with no avail.

Your iTunes library is gloriously devoid of Ray Boltz, Carmen, Steven Curtis Chapman, DC Talk.....

You've on more than one occasion turned down the music in your office to mask the occasional Ben Folds expletive.

If you hear "make the logo bigger" on more time.....

The arguments about paying for stock images vs getting them free from Google images are legion and many.
ages ago (permalink)

truthful things [deleted] says:

You get fired on a Sunday right after worship, only later to find out that the crack head in charge of Celebrate Recovery is now editing video announcements.

Because you want to bring structure and deadlines you are accused of not having good "Customer Service".

You almost always shart from dread when you hear the phrase, "I just want something simple"
ages ago (permalink)

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ANDR35 says:

you are asked to design a logo and then find out that they already selected a volunteer's 1st attempt over the multiple looks you gave them.

you have that feeling that Big Brother Is Watching You

you are told "we can't afford Photoshop" but sunday they announce that they are looking into buying another new building.

you are the only one who knows what Pixelated means.

you spend more time on CFCC than on any project you work on.

you find a service that will save the church tons of money, but they still go with the more expensive one.

you dub your office as "The Cave"
ages ago (permalink)

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redtwizzlers says:

you're a hero to the late thinker
a savant to the graphically impaired (that would be me!)
a rebel to the world of clip art
a fresh breath to an old ministry
a catalyst from dated to relevant
a link from the few to the many
a wordsmith for the bland
an edtor, finel prooofer and spell cheker
ages ago (permalink)

humorous pocket [deleted] says:

ooooh... a positive thinker!

too bad that's not usually the case with communication departments.
ages ago (permalink)

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carrie lee grant says:

Ohhh... this is fabulous.

You are forwarded attachments of fliers made in publisher and asked to open them and send them back... (wait, what do you want me to do?) open the file, and email it back open. (okay, one more time, what?) ohh, please copy and paste it into an email so I can see it.

You do things twice, once with what the ministry gives you, and again when they realize they only gave you about half the info.

You wish more than anything your office were harder to find.

Graphic Designer also means printer, trimmer, e-mailer, web-updater, tech supporter, volunteer interference runner etc...

You get the feeling people want things in color just so they don't have to print it themselves.

You are told "This can be thrown together, don't spend more than 15 minutes on it."

You're asked to send a proof to the ministry so they can "tweak" it for their target audience (i.e. not trusted with appropriate marketing).

You're told it's too "young" looking because it doesn't have pictures of people, papyrus, and any number of other 90s design elements.

People appreciate your hard work by giving you more last-minute requests.

**Your passion for good quality design is abused by people who passively threaten to have a volunteer design something if you don't have enough time (for it's 3 day deadline).**

You buy most of your own design tools/toys.

You go on Starbucks runs to hide from people.

Generally, people are nice to you because you bail them out of messes caused by lack of planning.

Lack of planning is blamed on the Holy Spirit. (God's spontaneous, you know...)

I'll end on a positive one:

At the end of the day, you didn't just get someone to buy a product, you took down a roadblock between them and God.
ages ago (permalink)

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ImoginNation [Christina Bruns] says:

@carrie - awesome picks, particularly ---

**Your passion for good quality design is abused by people who passively threaten to have a volunteer design something if you don't have enough time (for it's 3 day deadline).**

I seem to war with this one frequently.
ages ago (permalink)

comfortable texture [deleted] says:

at carriesch: that last one is awesome. really awesome.

You're pressured to complete something because it's due in two weeks ago and it ends up not being used. ever.

And...so, I just got a new second monitor (so I can show off my dual-desktop like the rest of you pros) and more memory. I'm overjoyed.
ages ago (permalink)

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shawncampbell says:

...you've been asked if there is a book or seminar that can teach others how to do what you do.

...you copied your favorites from this list intending to forward it to someone that needs to appreciate/understand you more.

...you're not sure if you should admit to laughing and crying while reading this list.


Thanks, everyone, for adding to the list. My soul needed it today.
ages ago (permalink)

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RaygunDesign says:

You've ever searched for "sun bursting though clouds" or "waves crashing on rocks" on istockphoto.com not because you want to, but because that's what people seem to think church marketing materials should contain.

btw-I've only been in church marketing since September, and I'm so glad to know that I'm experiencing the exact same things that all of you are!
ages ago (permalink)

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samjessup says:

@everyone
I have lived almost everyone of these!


This is hilarious!
Originally posted ages ago. (permalink)
samjessup edited this topic ages ago.

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@professr says:

...your portfolio consists mostly of rip-offs from television shows and major motion pictures.

...you know who Kem Meyer/Tony Morgan/etc. are.
ages ago (permalink)

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@chadmaag says:

hah!

I'll add to what Paul is saying

You know who Kem Meyer, Tony Morgan, Carlos Whittaker, Sean P. Salter, Ken Wilson, Terry Storch, Ken Shaffer, Andrew Kramer, Aahron Rabinowitz, Scott Hodge, and Ryan Hartsock are....

I'm sure there are others.

You make daily trips to Bittbox, PSD Tuts, Photoshop Disasters, and I can has cheezeburger.

If you prefer to watch the Sunday services at Newspring, Granger Community Church, Lifechurch.tv, Fellowship Church, Elevation Church, Mars Hill Seattle, et al over your own.
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@chadmaag edited this topic ages ago.

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Charity Meinhart Design says:

You run terrified at the mention of bulletin inserts.
Originally posted ages ago. (permalink)
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truthful things [deleted] says:

the statement, "Jesus and the disciples didn't use powerpoint, so I doesnt matter what it looks like." makes you want to slap the person speaking it.
ages ago (permalink)

truthful things [deleted] says:

you want to comment on some of the really bad designs submitted to the pool but don't cause you get sidetracked watching deviantmonks videos.
ages ago (permalink)

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ANDR35 says:

you post really bad designs to the pool and you don't give a crap cause it ain't going in the portfolio!
ages ago (permalink)

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David Choate is a group moderator David Choate says:

You spend the entire staff meeting drawing a picture.
ages ago (permalink)

full angle [deleted] says:

You get unwanted, not asked for, but forced upon you art direction from the church secretaries who were asked to proof-read the copy.

When making a design using a "cut-out" of paper style dove hung by strings, you know the whole mobile look, some old guy calls the church complaining that the holy spirit comes with "no strings attached" and are quickly asked never to do something like that again.

everyone you work with is "creative" and "artistic" too...

Utilizing negative space sounds too negative...

People who can't pick a tie to match their suit are giving you color palette "advice"

Execs get offices with good lighting, spacious desks, comfortable chairs, and large windows. While artists are put in the basement in small cramped cubes, no windows, horrible lighting (either WAY too much, or WAY too little) broken chairs, and moldy, dusty carpet.

Every department needs an administrator except yours.

Requests such as, I need 300 copies of this document come across your inbox.
ages ago (permalink)

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@professr says:

you've been "talked to" by the bulletin stuffing team, because they think the new size of the bulletin isn't "convenient" for them to stuff.

you've been told a design is "too edgy."

you've been given flack for asking well-founded, thought-out questions about why things "have always been done that way."

you've grudgingly moonlighted as an IT guy/gal.

you've ever been given credit for a really ugly piece that you didn't make or, fortunately for you, have anything to do with.
ages ago (permalink)

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PatrickFore says:

You get fired because your design style is to corporate and to willow creek.

You've explained what "high-res" more times than you can count.

You're using bootleg Adobe software.
ages ago (permalink)

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terrell_sanders says:

This stuff is fantastic. I was hoping to get enough for a good 'Top 10' list, but now we may have to extend MinistryCOM for another day just to cover the best of these comments! Thanks.
ages ago (permalink)

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churchbrandarchitect says:

You are given a flyer from the church down the road and told to design one that looks exactly like it. oh yeah (but change the colors).

You are told by the Senior Pastor his picture is too small

You are told by the Pastor's wife, Her picture is too small

You are told by the senior to make my picture look skinnier
Originally posted ages ago. (permalink)
churchbrandarchitect edited this topic ages ago.

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7ulio.com is a group moderator 7ulio.com says:

You've seen every single frame of "The Passion of the Christ"...






ten times.
ages ago (permalink)

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deviantmonk says:

...the last thing anybody does is communicate with you.

...you carry around an external hard drive in a satchel that you got for free at the last conference you attended.

...When it's 10:30 PM you're just getting started. (well, started again, cause you've already been at work since 8 am...)

...you cringe when you hear people talking about their favorite show or movie in the panning meetings, because you know they're going to want you to rip it off.

...you would give up a finger rather than have to attend another creative planning meeting.

...you dread staff retreats and fun days because you know it means at least 8 hours of creative time down the drain.

...you quasi-intentionally show a 'draft' of a piece after its too late to make any changes.

...you haven't seen the sun in about a year.
ages ago (permalink)

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deviantmonk says:

...people tell you its ok to break the law by using that picture or that clip or that song because its for God.
ages ago (permalink)

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GreenEyed_Monster says:

...your cube is decorated with more toys than the entire kid's department
ages ago (permalink)

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PatrickFore says:

@terrell -- I don't think this is so much about you anymore. I think this is years of stored up frustration coming out in cynical, sarcastic lists. You my friend just opened up a can. I don't see this ending.
ages ago (permalink)

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Joe Cavazos says:

Thanks Terrell - I don't have to pay for counseling anymore! I feel a release!
ages ago (permalink)

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estherproject says:

... you've explained a dozen times that "brand" is not synonymous with "logo" and you're still not getting through.

... you're the only department that gets contradictory instruction. ("We'd like more images, but all the same text.")

... you're the only staff member who does not have the final say on your own work.
ages ago (permalink)

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churchbrandarchitect says:

I think this thread needs to be a poster i can hang on my wall.
ages ago (permalink)

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David_Hepburn says:

...you are told "This is the most important video we've EVER done."....more than once.

...you're given less than a week to create that most important video ever.

...you sometimes shoot videos on Thursday, edit on Friday to show on Saturday.

...no one understands why it takes SO LONG to set up that camera thingy.

....you are the only one who understands why last minute changes on Friday evening are such a big deal.

...people say "let's just reshoot that."

...someone says "this will only take ** minutes. It should be easy for you."
Originally posted ages ago. (permalink)
David_Hepburn edited this topic ages ago.

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Theresa_the_Hodge says:

You work in the only department with Macs.

You are required to put swirls on everything before the pastor will approve it.

Conceptual is a is not an understood concept.

You have to rewrite everything so that it can be understood by people who don't speak christianese.

You've snickered more than once at the title given to a new ministry because it has sexual connotations that no one else picks up on.
ages ago (permalink)

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GreenEyed_Monster says:

You have sold your firstborn child to Adobe.

You have sold your second born child to wacom

you have sold your third child to apple.

Doesn't matter, your job is so demanding who has time for a family?
ages ago (permalink)

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the.mess says:

You secretly wish the creators of ADOBE software had never been born...but you tell people you love your job
ages ago (permalink)

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JoeSindorf says:

You know you work in church communications if...

deadline means something totally different to you than it does to your pastor

leadership's idea of marketing is changing the message on the sign

your pastor asks his secretary "what do you think" and then changes your design based on her input

any design with the word "women" in it needs to be pink

you're in charge of communication but no one communicates with you

you know more about networking than the IT guy

you can't use the word change because it makes people uncomfortable
ages ago (permalink)

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@chadmaag says:

It's only a matter of days before this thread becomes self aware and starts replicating itself at an exponential rate.

...you've had your supervisor balk at replacing a $60 hard drive, in a computer you own, even though the computer has been used for work purposes, in your office, for the past 4 years.

...you have yet to get any of your co-workers to understand the difference between raster and vector graphics.

...the ability to design an entire brochure in a days time is insignificant to the power of a disgruntled parishioner.

...you've managed to go to Starbucks to get a cup of coffee only to return to your office to find that stock image IS STILL DOWNLOADING!

...you're constantly asked to perform tasks that aren't remotely connected to your job description.

...you've been told by church attendees, on more than one occasion, that they can do your job better and faster than you.
ages ago (permalink)

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David_Hepburn says:

I think this thread should definitely become a coffee table book or something. Now if only we knew someone who could design it...
ages ago (permalink)

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deviantmonk says:

...you've spent more time today thinking up witty things to say in this thread than actually working.
ages ago (permalink)

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_SuperJules_ says:

...you've been assigned promotional material for an "important" event, without being given any actual information on said event (time, place, date, etc.).

...you've been criticized for designing a draft for an "important" event with made up information on said event (time, place, date, etc.).
ages ago (permalink)

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carrie lee grant says:

Everyone else gets painted offices... you are given a new office with blue sponge painted walls, a Thomas K. wallpaper border, and a bubbleyum grape purple **ceiling**. Haha... sorry, too specific?
ages ago (permalink)

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carrie lee grant says:

@ spy OH MAN!! The men's ministry here is sponsoring an event along with a ministry called, "Pure Desire". I don't think they realize that pure doesn't just mean wholesome.

Uhh... no offense to anyone who is affiliated with said ministry.
ages ago (permalink)

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@professr says:

@deviantmonk. tru dat. LOL. I spend way too much time on here. Been better about restraining myself lately though. ;)


a couple more:

... you've ever argued that a cross doesn't need to be in your Easter artwork, because Easter is about more than just the cross.

... you've ever been told that one of your designs "makes me want to go smoke grass."
ages ago (permalink)

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carrie lee grant says:

@paulcarlson LOL PB has told me on numerous occasions that something needs to be redesigned because it's gonna make him start drinking again.
ages ago (permalink)

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courtenay {Feet Lady} says:

...three weeks ago, someone mentioned in passing an event they'll need a promo piece for, then came to you today with the actual information and said "what do you mean I missed the deadline, i talked to you about this a couple weeks ago."
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chris.baker311 says:

You've rickrolled someone and/or have been rickrolled

You've fontrolled someone and/or have been fontrolled

And you know what it means when someone says "Goat Rodeo"

by the way check this great video out...
ages ago (permalink)

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Doug Peterson says:

...when using photos of people, you're told it needs to represent everyone in the church (even if they're not here yet)

...you've been caught by a member of the church after services and given a scolding because they know better than you

...you've stopped showing design ideas to the senior pastor because he spends waaaaay too much time tweaking every possible piece (move this over just a mm or so, make this person 2 years younger, etc)

...no one understands that when you write for the web you should write what you want to say and then cut it in half and then cut it in half again

...you try to explain to the admin assistants that emailing a publisher document to church members isn't all that effective (they don't have publisher.....and it'd be great if you didn't either)

...you are constantly sent photos from people saying, "You should be able to use these in your designs"

...you get a "talking to" from a member because you don't understand how a printed photo directory will solve our communication problems (happened to me yesterday)

...everyone thinks a ministry event has only made it when they get a verbal announcement in services.
ages ago (permalink)

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new.perspectives is a group moderator new.perspectives says:

It doesn't have to be anything special or look really great. Just knock out something mediocre.
ages ago (permalink)

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JoeSindorf says:

hey spy and carrie -

you'll love this... the leadership of a chuch that I won't name came to me with the new name for the men's ministry... they wanted "blue steel". I googled it, told them what came up, and they still wanted to go with it!

that was a fun logo to work on
ages ago (permalink)

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new.perspectives is a group moderator new.perspectives says:

You have been asked, "Where can I find some good clip art?"
Then you proceed to threaten to jump out of your window.
ages ago (permalink)

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new.perspectives is a group moderator new.perspectives says:

@Sean :
"When making a design using a "cut-out" of paper style dove hung by strings, you know the whole mobile look, some old guy calls the church complaining that the holy spirit comes with "no strings attached" and are quickly asked never to do something like that again."

WHAT???? THAT IS THE BIGGEST BUNCH OF CRAP EVER!!!
ages ago (permalink)

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_SuperJules_ says:

...you have members come up to you angry that they didn't know about the recent event they missed, even though there are (very large) posters, bulletin articles, bulletin inserts, newsletter articles, website pages and a myriad of other published materials all dedicated to getting out the word. To your explanation they say, "Oh, I don't read any of that stuff."
ages ago (permalink)

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MountainDewJack says:

...If you still pop your pimples with the compass you used in high school.

...if you eat your own dandruff.
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new.perspectives is a group moderator new.perspectives says:

You are told to make the Guest Response card PINK and an insert (vs. a perf in the bulletin) because if it is pink and they don't have to tear it out, they will definitely fill it out.

No one understands the concept of a final content document.

You are told that media shouldn't make a difference because the Holy Spirt is much bigger than anything we can create.

Good design is often slaughtered by "art director" admins.

You are told that yellow is a pretty color and you should use it for text because it really "POPS".

You refuse to use the church logo on any of your work because it is so atrocious and was designed in the 70s or 80s.

The church website is a disaster, but for some reason the staff still thinks it is just fine.

Branding.. what is that? Consistent branding.. no such thing!

You regularly threaten to jump out of your window because you just can't take it anymore.

All admins have InDesign and are encouraged to use it to create their own stuff since you are so busy.

You are the only staff member of your "level" that isn't treated accordingly.
ages ago (permalink)

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new.perspectives is a group moderator new.perspectives says:

oh oh oh... every ministry had someone different (not a web designer) design their own website, none of which meet any sort of web standards or reflect any sort of church branding.
ages ago (permalink)

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samjessup says:

@tigerly881

I personally had that happen to me about a year ago. Anonymous guy writes in complaining that this "upcoming event" at the church is so important, I don't know why you people aren't advertising it. It should be everywhere and "no one seems to care".

I proceeded to tell him about the posters, bulletin inserts, web stuff and e-mail campaign we had been doing, he then explains that he's been out of town for the last few weeks and didn't see it.
ages ago (permalink)

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ANDR35 says:

you have been told by HCC to give more logo concepts in BW
:P

you've said "i can has..."

you're tired of hearing the word "saturate" or any other word ending in "-ate"

you are under_______ but on the same token overworked.

your anthem is "Deliver Me" [david crowder]

you avoid your fellow staff members during service

you hate receiving texts during service about some great idea a pastor just came up with

your best work comes when they Don't ask you for it.
ages ago (permalink)

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GreenEyed_Monster says:

...you are female and everyone thinks that you are a secretary
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courtenay {Feet Lady} says:

...you're the one person NOT reading the bulletin during service because you don't want to see that one typo you probably missed.
ages ago (permalink)

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@chadmaag says:

@Devora

"your best work comes when they don't ask you for it."

Boy I can relate 100% with that statement.....
ages ago (permalink)

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courtenay {Feet Lady} says:

...you get compliments for months on that flyer you really did only spend 15 minutes on.
ages ago (permalink)

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Dan Cogan Design says:

...you use the "Birth of a Hero" font on just about everything...
(I'm guilty... and I see it everywhere too!)
www.dafont.com/birth-of-a-hero.font
ages ago (permalink)

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Dan Cogan Design says:

...you put those "sun-ray" things on EVERYTHING!
ages ago (permalink)

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carrie lee grant says:

@Dan LOL... awww. Sad. Our current 10 week series has both.

I'm gonna hide in my cave a little longer.
ages ago (permalink)

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MitchMade says:

@courtney: totally. totally hate that.
ages ago (permalink)

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Dan Cogan Design says:

@ carrie...
Sorry, my stuff too!

The church administrator asks if you have 30 minutes to teach her Photoshop... "Yes. Yes I do have 30 minutes to teach you what I've learned in 7 years. Is now good for you?"
ages ago (permalink)

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Dan Cogan Design says:

@ new.perspectives

"You regularly threaten to jump out of your window because you just can't take it anymore."

You have a window? I want a window!
ages ago (permalink)

full angle [deleted] says:

Staff members talk about you and their issues with you to everyone else BUT you.
ages ago (permalink)

truthful things [deleted] says:

@SeanP:
"Staff members talk about you and their issues with you to everyone else BUT you. "


f'in a, right on.
ages ago (permalink)

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new.perspectives is a group moderator new.perspectives says:

Your office reaches 97 degrees because your roommate is a huge color printer and your AC doesn't really work.

@Dan: yeah, i have a window... but i also have a lot of crap in my office that I would give my window up to get rid of :(
ages ago (permalink)

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ImoginNation [Christina Bruns] says:

@courtenay--

I love what you said --

...you're the one person NOT reading the bulletin during service because you don't want to see that one typo you probably missed.

It's hysterical on the weeks that i'm not playing keyboard (not that often) that when i walk through the church doors a greeter tries to hand me a bulletin and i have to explain why i don't want it - because i can recite it back to them verbatim :).

On a side note, it's really hard to concentrate on playing keyboard when you see the Senior Pastor point out something in the bulletin to another pastor. I spent the whole worship part of service wondering what mistake i made. (I typed "Dowpour" instead of "Downpour" referring to our monthly Friday night services.
ages ago (permalink)

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bethgsanders says:

You do a flyer for an event and the next day a church member is really proud of herself because she figured out how to drop your pdf into Word and "jazz it up."
ages ago (permalink)

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PatrickFore says:

I think this thread needs to be renamed "I'm a church designer, I am sarcastic/cynical and I love to bitch."

*ducks and covers
ages ago (permalink)

full angle [deleted] says:

or

I'm a church designer and I am used, abused, neglected, unloved, uncared for, overlooked, unappreciated, and looked down upon.... O.o

and

are bitter, stubborn, elitist, snobby, non-conformist, exclusive, stylish, eccentric, odd, and yes cynical. :-P
Originally posted ages ago. (permalink)
full angle edited this topic ages ago.

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deviantmonk says:

...you naively agree to take on a project at your church in an area you don't often work with and find out that the project is to do a 5 minute motion graphic video utilizing all the names of parishioners/members/family members of church members who have died that year...

...in a 15,000 member church...

...and the only direction you've been given is an Excel spreadsheet.
ages ago (permalink)

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@chadmaag says:

@bethgsanders - I think if you add security to your PDF files you can disable the ability for the file to imported/placed/altered without giving a passkey.
ages ago (permalink)

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David_Hepburn says:

@deviantmonk - Ouch.
ages ago (permalink)

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estherproject says:

@patrickian - LOL. I was totally going to post something like that yesterday and I chickened out. You're my hero.
ages ago (permalink)

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@professr says:

....due to years of working with your color copier, you've completely and utterly lost the meaning of the term "color consistency."
ages ago (permalink)

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courtenay {Feet Lady} says:

...you believe that if you call the copier/folder/mail machine evil within earshot of said machine, it WILL hear you and seek its revenge.
ages ago (permalink)

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David_Hepburn says:

@courtenaylove - It's SO true!
ages ago (permalink)

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David Choate is a group moderator David Choate says:

You have to explain that having 3-5 different logos for your church is not a good thing.
ages ago (permalink)

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