betsymartian 12:25pm, 7 April 2006
the please was a trick, do it or you're banned.

he needs you to pray for him cos, um, his tail's muddy or something. don't give me any backchat, just pray. or else god will know and spank you.
.candy Posted 12 years ago. Edited by maddog. (member) 12 years ago
Ban me if you will, Queen B, but I fucking flat out fucking refuse to fucking pray for anyone's fucking anything ever ever ever ever ever. Fuck dogs, fuck people with pets, and especially FUCK people who ask internet friends to pray for their ailing fucking pets.

*Candy is drunk again, B*

Admin note: There is far too much swearing in this post. You don't get any dinner and your spandex will be shrunken in the next wash.
betsymartian 12 years ago
heh heh heh

although I am an evil anal dictatorship powertrip admin, even I think that particular practice is cretinous.

candyonthebeach gets a "get out of ban free" card for calling my bluff.
.candy Posted 12 years ago. Edited by .candy (member) 12 years ago
Suck it bitches, B loves me.
*it's mutual*

Dear God, please let a flaming asteroid land square in the nuts of everyone's dog on flickr who has begged for prayer for their sick pet, lighting their fluffy poodle ass on fire, nuts first, until the entire abomination is rife with poodle flame, crisping and spitting poodle fat sparks onto the sidewalk. Let it combust so that its million bloody poodle chunks go flying to the corners of the world so that we all can revel in the glory that is Fried Poodle Chunk. Oh sweet baby Jesus, let your glory shine upon this poodle and burn, burn, burn it into your everlasting Oblivion with little bloody chunky tufts of stinky burnt poodle flesh for us all to save and wear forever on leather straps around our penitent necks as testament to your Omnipotence.

Before your dog goes up in flames, I KICK YOUR DOG!!!
kicking the dog

How's that, B?
maddog. Posted 12 years ago. Edited by maddog. (member) 12 years ago
I'm taking evil out of the title betsy, cos it's scaring larry
betsymartian 12 years ago
OK well Larry's even more important than me so if he doesn't like it, take it out
maddog. 12 years ago
Btw, Larry never needs anyone to pray for him as he is a tidal wave of unquenchable uberdog.
betsymartian 12 years ago
Candy that's pure poetry.

But you're only allowed to kick dufus dogs with dufus owners. You can't kick my dog. Or Larry. But if I ever ask you to pray for either one of them (in a serious way) then please do kick us both.
.candy 12 years ago
connshidder it done!
cheers again, people
.candy 12 years ago
Who is Larry?
maddog. 12 years ago
He is very close to ruling the Universe and has floppy ears

Larry snoozing on sofa, April 2006
♥ shhexy corin ♥ PRO 12 years ago
hmmm. should be dead
.candy 12 years ago
Oh my god.
I will never kick Larry.
Larry is brilliant and I love him.
DON'T TELL ANYBODY, ok? They will boot me from the dog-kicking club and come and take my ovaries in the night.
maddog. 12 years ago
He is dead. I cooked him up for dinner last night and have been selling his ears as posh purses.
Tasted a bit like goat.
maddog. 12 years ago
You have ovaries? Cool.
betsymartian Posted 12 years ago. Edited by betsymartian (member) 12 years ago
well she won't for much longer if you keep shouting about it.

that's how I lost a fallopian tube you know.

maddog. 12 years ago
.candy 12 years ago
I was going to put my ovaries on Ebay and see what happens. I mean, I'm not using them, they really only cause me misery, and potentially, cancer. I wonder how much I'd get. I am a genius, pretty healthy, big boobies, should have decent progeny if paired with the proper spermatozoa...
Anyway, Larry is a muffin. Cooked or not. I love a floppy dog.
B, I love the word *fallopian*
I grew up in the ghetto on the south side of Chicago, and all the cool Afro American folk in the hood had baby girls with odd names, and when I got older I decided that if I ever accidentally get pregnant and don't know until it's too late and I end up having the kid somehow for some awful reason, and it's a girl, I'm going to name her *Fallopia Urethra*
maddog. 12 years ago
Urethra? Like the fat singer?

Can you say 'ghetto' again?
.candy 12 years ago

but hey, Aretha wasn't always big...but she bad, maddog, she bad. Don't fuck with Aretha.

Can't you just hear it now?

I can hear my gramma sayin that and it gives me the shivers.
The next sentence would be,
'Go pick a switch.'
Anyone know what that means?
betsymartian 12 years ago
doesn't it mean go get a branch for me to whup seven shades of shit out of you with?
.candy 12 years ago
Precisely! There's my genius girl. You are so smart, love. How about a sweet? That's my girl. Oh, such a smart girl. How ever did you get to be so smart? Pity the fool who fucks with you, dear :)
maddog. 12 years ago
You two and your whips....
.candy Posted 12 years ago. Edited by .candy (member) 12 years ago
Hmmm...grumpy drunky has set in.
Time for bed.
Fuck your dogs.

Goodnight, loves.

Permission assumed...due to total uselessness of denial in that I would sleep anyway...until tomorrow, a pox on your poodles
betsymartian 12 years ago
Candy has to go to bed, it's the rule.

sweet dreams. (optional)
maddog. 12 years ago
*Tranquilizer ready*
maddog. 12 years ago
what happened to candy? does getting married mean you have to withdraw from all web activity?

is she locked in a cellar?
betsymartian 12 years ago
Moving to foreign and getting married means you have to do all kinds of stuff to do with visas and moving house and finding a job and satisfying your husband, I know candy makes it look easy but it takes up a lot of her day. Leave her alone.
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