licorice & ginger's photostream  

It's 3:45AM and I'm here thinking too much. Thinking about how much my life has changed in the last 6 months...thinking about where I will end up in another 6 months. I'm not really sure of anything anymore.

I am more sure about myself as a person though. I am now 24 years old. I am a divorcee. I am still childless, after trying for over two years before he even left. I treated and overcame my extreme anxiety. I'm 40 lbs lighter and still going. I have red hair! And piercings I've waited too long to get. I have a job. I have my license, and a car. I have plans to return to school and actually apply myself. I have plans to move to the west coast. I have friends and family again. I've made new friends as well. I have a life again and I honestly enjoy it so much more than I thought I would. I'm proud of myself for once. People are proud of me once again.

And yet sometimes, I sit here and my heart and soul aches for what I had back then. I'd give it all back just to know why he fell out of love with me. I gaze into my loving boyfriend's eyes every day and I feel so safe, warm and content. Yet I still want to know why. I don't want him back. I don't need him back. I just need to know why he went from the love of my life, my best friend and partner in crime, to someone who refuses to even speak to me. What did I do to deserve this punishment? Why wasn't I good enough to fight for? Why didn't he try to save me years ago? How long am I supposed to carry this heavy load before my back breaks? How many nights will I continue to sit here and cry until I am a crumpled mess on the floor?

My most recent fortune cookie said, "Time heals most everything. Give it time." I can only hope that's the honest truth. My mind and body can't take any more torture, and I am beyond ready to turn the page and never turn back.

I hope this message finds all my great Flickr friends in good health and happiness. I can't wait to see what you all have been up to in the meantime. <3

earrings by Wicked Minky

Despite the cheesy smile I have on my face, I have a horrible earache, sore throat and I slept all day to get rid of them. Plus it started pouring five minutes later, ugh.

Deets:
earrings: Etsy, Wicked Minky
choker: leather cord from Michael's
shirt: thrifted
jeggings: Torrid
flats: Lane Bryant

vintage necklaces and pretty jumper print : )

Please do not adjust your screen! Just because I'm in Florida does not mean my Irish legs see the sun that often. Hope you aren't blind now. ; )

Deets:
romper: Torrid
necklaces: thrifted, vintage
shoes: Payless
pigtails: a hot mess