I'll have that free Spamburger please

Every day, more and more beefy folks are switching to Spam. Stock up now for the apocalypse. Wait out the next pandemic with ample supplies of canned swine. Luxuriate in your private stash of spreadable pork while Osama and Ahmed are reduced to subsisting on toasted camel eyes. If nitrites are effective in preserving dead pigs there is no reason to believe they would be less effective in preserving live humans...so PRESERVE YOUR SELF WITH GENUINE SPAM