How my mind works

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tonysoko says:

that just made my day.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

sadalit says:

I agree.
At the same time, the urge to compare (in a negative way) seems so innately human. Hard to overcome.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

Kathreen Rhymes With Clean says:

LIKE how "your mind works". :)))

works for me, too.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

Fleur De Lisa says:

Oh no, I don't want my soul to frown...there's already too much of that to go around as it is.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

sheryl stephen / WaveOfModulation says:

Thank you, tonysoko. I'm glad.

Sadie, that is a good point. I've thought about that too. Not in terms of solving it or anything. But it's interesting that you use the word human because since I found out that I have Asperger Syndrome, it sure explains a lot of things. Like how I often "decide" how I am going to feel instead of just feeling it. I ask myself questions like "Is it fair?", "Does it make sense?", "Will this lead to something good?" And the answers tell me how I "feel".

I use reason on subjects like this, and if whatever it is isn't reasonable, I can change my mind and change my behavior. Because it's not in my gut.

That's sort of what I meant by "How my mind works".

Recently I read a blog post by someone I really admire as a writer and as a person. The post was about how she felt she had wasted her life/chances in some important ways, especially after spending a week with some motivated and smart young people.

The thing that struck me was that the way people decide what is acceptable and they set themselves up to be failures before they even go into "compare mode". Or if people are judging other people, they have decided what is acceptable and started feeling superior before they even start comparing. So the whole act of comparing is to judge someone else unacceptable or to judge themselves unacceptable.

Intellectually that just sounded like a false enterprise no matter how you slice it, and the worst part - it's a no win situation.

I wondered to myself why someone would want to pursue a concept of themselves (in one case) where there is no possibility for relief or self acceptance. How could they go down a road knowing there are no good destinations? In fact choosing a road and repeatedly choosing all along the way on this road to prevent any possibility of arriving at a place where "it's all ok".

I have compared myself to other people in my life, probably both ways at one time or another. For me it happens when I am in extreme crisis only, like when my ex cheated on me and then broke up with me. I am just as flawed and imperfect as everyone else. But for the most part, I don't compare myself to other people. I was sort of born without that gene.

So yes, it is easier said than done. And I'm not really saying everyone should be like me. These are just the thoughts that I had this morning.

Again, it is interesting that you say this is part of being human, because I recently realized that I don't have a lot of the emotional responses to things (and when I do have them, it's not easy access) that other more emotionally responsive people have. For as long as I can remember, I have assumed that kind of emotional responsiveness was more human than I was. I didn't even consciously know I felt that way. A little bit un-human. Like being human is a foreign language.

So, I can empathize that it might sound sort of incomprehensible to say something like "Nothing good can come of comparing yourself to others". :)
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

sheryl stephen / WaveOfModulation says:

ha ha

I spent so much time writing that long comment that I didn't even see your comments, IKAT and Lisa

Thank you :)
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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How my mind works

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tonysoko says:

sadalit says:

Kathreen Rhymes With Clean says:

Fleur De Lisa says:

sheryl stephen / WaveOfModulation says:

sheryl stephen / WaveOfModulation says:

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