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Circus Circus - Reno

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Song by Pizzicato Five - "It's A Beautiful Day"

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Uploaded on Jan 1, 2010

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"Reality takes shape in memory alone. Memory: the past rewritten in the direction of feeling. Human memory, driven by emotional self-interest, goes to extraordinary lengths to provide evidence to back up whatever understanding of the world we have our hearts set on...," David Shields.


Happy New Year.


Song by Jon Hopkins - "Small Memory"

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Uploaded on Dec 31, 2009

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I put my hat on today. It's made it around the world and back. But, it doesn't fit me anymore. When I put it on, it slid down the sides of my head and came to a rest on top of my ears. I could feel the concave of the the crown pressing down on me.

I took it off. What's wrong with you? Maybe it had worn itself out. Maybe my head's gotten smaller. I bought this hat six years ago at Buffalo Exchange during those few rainy days I spent in Berkeley with Lillian. "That looks good on you," a stranger said. "Thanks, I've always wanted a Stetson," I said.

What happened to you?

There are quite a few people at Borders for a Sunday night. I walked her after dropping my roll of film off at Target. I haven't successfully finished a roll since September. I came to Borders because I wanted to write a letter to a "100% Girl" andI couldn't do it at home. There are just too many reminders laying around there. But now that I'm sitting here, I don't feel like it. I'm not sure if it's because I can't find the words or I just don't care to find them.

Maybe my pride's been wounded. Frankly, her new man's writing and photographs are shit. Yet I can't bring myself to write anything. I wish she found someone who didn't share similar interests as me. At least, I have better taste in music.

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Uploaded on Dec 30, 2009

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I don't drink black coffee anymore. I add a bag of that cane sugar that looks like either crystal meth or pop rocks. The taste isn't all that different until you get to the bottom of the cup. Sometimes I add half and half, sometimes I don't. I don't feel like Tony Leung anymore. Nor do I feel the need to be like Tony Leung. In fact, he hasn't crossed my mind in a long time.

The last time I saw him was when I was with Michelle and Terry. We were drinking beer all night while burning recyclables in the fireplace. I thought it was a good idea to watch Chungking Express after we were finished. I remember the first few scenes of Takeshi Kaneshiro running after the woman with the blonde wig and shades. Did that ever happen? I don't remember. I woke up on top of the air mattress and turned off the TV. The DVD had looped back to main menu screen.

I never knew why I was so fascinated with that scene of Tony Leung drinking coffee in front of the restaurant.

A dear friend told me, "Be nice to your stomach." I don't know if adding cream or sugar makes coffee less upsetting to the body, but at least I'm listening. The least upsetting thing you can do is not drink it at all. Backwards logic, I know it'll make my insomnia worse.

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Uploaded on Dec 30, 2009

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