UNCERTAINTY
Today (5th May), I received an email from a good online friend about my 365 project (will not disclose her name, but she knows who she is if she reads this). She was basically asking if I thought my
1st of May 365 shot "crossed the line" as she thinks it looks quite... uh... pornographic.
When I first posted that shot, I really didn't think much of it as such, to be honest. I knew it was a crazy shot - but didn't really think that it was going to be considered "too sexy" or "erotic". Definitely no where near the area of pornography. Being a wife, a mum, a Christian... and someone who lives pretty much on the web (being co-owner of a media company, etc)... the concept of "being appropriate" is something I think about before I upload anything online.
Sure, I don't mind sexy. I don't consider myself a prude. Heck, I *love* going to figure/life drawing classes. So, seeing a naked body (both male + female) don't faze me one bit. Unless, of course, it's done out of context (I wouldn't like seeing someone walking naked on the streets, for example ;-)).
But yeah, I don't want anything too risque. And maybe I'm being naive, but that shot in question (even
the one before that day) were photos that I didn't really think were "too sexy". Much less, "pornographic". It makes me sick to my stomach, thinking that there may be folks who consider them as such.
It makes me wonder if this is really something I ought to be thinking harder about - or something that I should just shrug off. And chalk it up to differences in opinion. I don't know. I guess, that's part of the scary thing about this self portraiture thing. You open yourself up to all sorts of feedback - good and bad, and everything else in-between.
But yeah, I do feel a bit upset at the moment. Not necessarily at my friend. I know she means well. But, I'm feeling a bit at a loss on what to do. I hate having to second guess myself with this project. It's hard enough as it is. I know that once uncertainty kicks and settles in, I'll end up quitting for sure. I've got too many other things that I want to do with my life. I don't want to spend my energies having to wonder if what I'm doing is right or wrong. Or, if it's something that will offend other people or not.
If it becomes that way, I'd rather not do this at all. I'll just move on to other things that I've put on hold because of this. Life's too short to worry about what other people would think.
Photo Notes:
- This is pretty much a Straight Out of the Camera (SOOC) photo. No
cropping or major editing.
- Taken last Saturday.