behold: the pickles

pickled beets
(1) get approximately enough beets to fill the largest pot you have.
(2) wash beets, trim stems, leave weird rootlet tails.
(3) boil beets until you can stick a fork in them partway.
(4) cover beets in cold water and allow to cool.
(5) combine 4 cups cider vinegar, 2 cups water, 1 cup sugar, 2 teaspoons pickling salt*, 1 tbsp allspice berries, 1 tsp whole cloves and two 2 cinnamon sticks in a pot**. bring to a boil, stir to melt sugar, and then reduce to a simmer uncovered for 10 minutes.
(6) pack beets into jars and pour the hot liquid over them.
(7) you can either do it the real way with mason jars with 2-piece lids that you process in a boiling water bath, or you could just use regular old jars like we did and stick em in the fridge. wait many days as you possibly can for them to pickle in the fridge, and then eat. keeps longer than leftover chinese food, but not as long as pickles done the real way.
* we couldn't find actual pickling salt anywhere, so we just used non-iodide kosher salt that did not have any anti-caking additives.
** don't use an aluminum or iron pot. we learned that the hard way.

bread and butter pickles
(1) wash and slice pickling cucumbers (we just used kirbys).
(2) slice one small onion.
(3) toss cucumbers and onion in a bowl with 1/2 cup pickling salt. cover with ice cubes and allow to brine for 4 hours (we just did it for 30 minutes).
(4) bring 4 1/2 cups cider vinegar, 3 cups sugar, 2 tsp yellow mustard seeds, 1 1/2 tsp ground tumeric, 1 tsp celery seeds, to a boil.
(5) drain cucumbers & onions and add to the pot. Bring slowly to a boil.
(6) pack everything into jars, cover with remaining liquid, and see above for finishing methods.