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Last May, we rode on the back of a flatbed truck with Kalin's dad's surf band in the Memorial Day parade in Topanga, Ca.

I got to play cowbell.
Enthusiastically.

I think this was an engagement photoshoot at Natural Bridges the other night. It was a great night for it. Lots of energy from the people on the beach and the ocean.

I was away from this place for two whole days and it felt like a piece of me was missing.

I'd love a pretzel. Sliced in half and filled with peanut butter. Warm. On a plate. And a cup of black tea with a little bit of cocoa and milk (2%) stirred in. And some chopped frozen mangoes (thawed) in a bowl with a dash of cinnamon and plain yogurt.

I've been fasting for the last 20 hours. I've got another 14 to go. It's all in preparation for my second colonoscopy tomorrow morning. My first one was 5 years ago, just before my 30th birthday.

My mom was 37 when she died in 1982. Of colon cancer.

If by some random chance my mom had had a colonoscopy at age 35, it might have saved her life. And she'd still be here. And I would be able to talk to her and see her and ask her questions about things I don't understand. And I'd probably have bought her an iPad and she'd text me with random tech support questions and tell me to watch my mouth on Facebook. And maybe I'd have a better relationship with my dad. And my brother would know his mother a little better and understand why, 30 years later, it's still easy for me to miss her and "her way" of living life.

Or something like that.

So it's impossible to go through this and not think about my mom. It's my way to fight the ugly disease that took her too early. In two years, I'll be the same age she was when she died. And I'll be damned if cancer is going to sneak up on me. If that's how I'm going to leave this life (someday), so be it. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of not living enough before I die.

But if cancer wants me, it is going to have to kick down the *front* door (there's a weird, ironic joke in there...back door, colonoscopy-I don't know, let's laugh about that in a day or so, mkay?).

I'm totally looking forward to that pretzel. It's going to be radical.

I caught a kite surfer soaring over the waves in Davenport, California yesterday. These folks are totally nuts. It adds a whole other dimension to surfing. And you can watch safely from the beach, which is exciting when a big set comes in.

This looks better big.