This photo was not manipulated. The rays were accidentally captured.
My name is Thomas and in the bible, Thomas is one of the 12 disciples of Jesus.
St. Thomas is also known as 'doubting Thomas' as he doubted the resurrection of Jesus. But St. Thomas was willing to risk his own life for Jesus.
I think I inherited the characteristic of St. Thomas. I often doubt. Even, when Jesus showed me the signs in 2005 and clearly told me what He wanted me to do, I still doubt along the way.
"Come on Thomas...wake up... you got to trust God who loves you so much.." I always remind myself.
God wants me to serve in Cambodia and Philippines because the visions in 2 similar dreams pointed to that direction. He revealed the visions to me through dreams and through bible verses.
Along the way, God send me angels in human form to help me and to support me. I know great works have been done through His grace. But the goals have not been accomplished yet. And that the goal is to help as many children as possible and elevate them from poverty and hardships.
How many do I have to help ? God said “As many as the stars of heaven!” So, I know there is no quota and there is no limit. I just have to press on and trust in Him.
Sounds easy? It is far from easy. Along the way, I faced with many issues whether externally or internally and all so disheartening. But I thanks God that he rescued me every time so I would not fall into dark pit.
Few days ago, my heart was so burdened and discouraged by incidents and issues in Cambodia. Frankly, I felt like giving up and I could not hear a single consoling voice of God. All I heard were noises and more noises. I wanted to step down from the leadership and let other more capable to take over. After all, I do not need the personal glory and attention. I do not even care if I have more sponsor or donation. These things never worry me because I do not have quota to achieve. All I know is just to do whatever I am asked to and with the blessing of God.
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus TO DO GOOD WORKS, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph 2: 10)
I am sure you and I agree that it is a miracle that within a short time frame of 2 years we have 43 kids put on scholarship programme in Cambodia, 317 kids on feeding and scholarship programmes in Philippines and 120 kids benefited in the educational programme in Indonesia.
This only illustrates the grace of God, His mercy and His love on each individual. His grace enables us to do good works! And He has prepared and planned for us.
Many times, I was carelessly subjected myself to the struggle against fresh. I was easily provoked and discouraged by taboo words and actions of others. But God reminded that He is in control through the many angels that I have around me.
Wednesday last, I prayed in my quiet time and cried my problems out to God. I felt at peace and the present of the Holy Spirit. When I flip opened my iPad, a bible application activated by itself and showed me Philippians 3: 12-14. And the verses were even highlighted in PINK!
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phl 3: 12-14)
Immediately, I was reminded that God has a plan for me to accomplish. I have to PRESS ON by forgetting all the troubles and problems. I need to STRAIN towards the goal and WIN it!
On Friday, I started to doubt again. I kept asking myself “May be I have accidentally pressed on the bible apps when the cover was closed?”
“May be I have trigged some setting and allowed the apps to turn on by itself?”
May be ..may be..may be….
Then suddenly the air-con behind me turned on by itself.
That air-con has not been on for 4 months. And I thought I might have accidentally pressed on the remote control ON button.
I searched for my remote control and discovered there was no battery in it! I tried to inspect the air-con but discovered that it was OFF.
“May be my stressful mind was playing trick on me…hallucination?”
May be… may be…may be….
Suddenly, it turned on the second time again! Oh men!
This time there was no MAY BE, but confirmation that God indeed told me “Son, BELIEVE now?”
I thanks God for the signs and I can’t doubt that anymore!
I BELIEVE!