WRITE A LIST OF MORE WAYS TO WRECK THIS JOURNAL:
Gather bark, twigs, leaves, and other natural items. Adorn the cover of your journal. Revel in existential, Walden-y smugness.
Tear a page out of a real book and paste it into your journal. Tear a page out of your journal and replace the page in the real book. Return the book to the library.
Glue, or tape, desiccated dead insects -- or plastic replicas if you're a sissy -- on random pages throughout your journal.
Create an "About the Author" page on the inside back cover. Select a Very Famous Writer about whom you're Not Particularly Keen. Write Rather Snarky Things about him. Or her.
Open the journal to a page near the middle. Put the journal on your head like a hat. Affix a chin strap if necessary. Now you have a conquistador helmet, YAY! Go tilt at windmills. Extension activity: redecorate your house in 1970s Avocado Green and Harvest Gold to complement your new look.
WRECK NEKKID!!! [You could start with the "shower" page.]
Using an electric drill, bore a series of tiny holes, about 1/8-inch diameter, 1/8-inch deep, and 1/4-inch apart around the perimeter of the cover of your journal. Place a small seed -- radish seeds work well -- in each hole. Dampen and keep moist. In about a week you should have a lovely chia-journal.
Two Words: SPRAY PAINT! (Note the groovy purple & yellow effect! Yup. That's how!)
Hold the journal underwater and write in it with a crayon.
Do your journaling with a green Pilot Petit1 fountain pen, because it's a crap pen and makes a hella-mess! In addition to wrecking your journal, this pen will wreck your clothes and permanently stain your skin green. Ooh, look, I'm a leprechaun! Or maybe just a leper.
Clean the dead gnats out of the light fixture on your porch. Glue them into your journal. Varnish the page so you don't leave a trail of crumbly little gnat bits wherever you go.
"Accidentally" leave the journal on the roof of your car and drive away. Watch through the rear view mirror as the journal sails off the roof. Say bad words, swerve dangerously to an emergency stop, and retrieve the journal from the gutter or ditch.
Open journal to a random page. Place open journal on a sofa or your favorite chair. Sit on the journal while you watch TV. Or read a book. Or meditate. Or whilst engaged in scintillating repartee with a circle of witty, erudite friends.
Dig a hole. Bury your journal in it Place a marker on the spot. Hold a ceremony. Recite incantations. Resurrect your journal.
Leave your journal outside all night. On the ground. Under a rock.
Dead Presidents: cut the faces out of various denominations of currency. Paste the faces into your journal.
REBEL COMPLETELY *... by doing NOTHING to your journal! Keep this journal untouched! Pristine! Minty-fresh! PRESERVE IT FOREVER!
2 August 2009
* Special thanks to kendroog for this insightful observation.