London bus ticket machine, plus bus and bus user (to help explain the whole arcane process)Here is the screen where all the details that you have to pay attention to are detailed. It is tiny. And grouchy. This is the first thing you are supposed to do - select a ticket type. To confuse you, however, they've made it look like the second thing you do. The buttons are ordered visually miles underneath the coin slot, and above the place the tickets come from. This is the first thing I'm supposed to use when I get to this machine. Notice how it's right in the middle of the machine, right under the coin slot which you're not supposed to use first. This is the coin slot. They almost never work (tramps gum them up intentionally and then wander up and down Oxford Street with a bit of wire emptying them out every so often). Also you're not supposed to put money in them until you've pressed a button. Here are the instructions for something or other. See how bloody wordy this machine is? How on earth are visitors to the city supposed to figure this shit out? Check it out. There are three distinct slots that things come out of. Why? The tickets are different, it's true, but that just means they have to be printed in different places, not that they have to come out of different slots. This woman's mind has snapped because she couldn't figure out how to use the ticket machine or because it ate another pound coin - her tenth this week. Something like that anyway... The buses won't let you on unless you have already bought a ticket. Unless of course the machine is broken and then they'll let you stay on the bus until the next stop where you have to get out and buy a ticket. While you buy ticket, they will drive off.. Note the tiny effort in trying to tie together different bits of functionality visually. Lazy wankers. The whole process has three stages, how difficult can it be to make it comprehensible? So here's a little hint for you. If you're grumpy beyond all imaginings and you've lost money or something (or if you're less scrupulous because you just want to) if you tell them you lost your pound in the machine, they'll just let you on. Here's a little tip from a Londoner - get a 2p or 1p piece and stick it in the cash slot before you put in your pound. If the coin falls all the way through and comes out of the returned coins slot, then it's safe to put your pound in. Otherwise don't. 
 So basically these machines are completely borked. They have UI that I'd be embarrassed about if it fell out of my ass. More details in the notes...
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Phil Gyford
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Finding location...
Tom Morris
says:
Simple answer: just take the tube.
Posted 64 months ago. ( permalink )