living the dream
It's sometimes dubbed the American Dream. But in definition, the "dream" is so much more than that. And in my thinking, it has got to be a dream in every country on this planet. Who doesn't dream of owning their own home? I'm sure there are still a lot of people with the nomadic blood running through their veins. Some just can't put down roots. At times in my life, i've entertained the idea of selling everything and getting a nice mobile home and travelling the country. This would have been in days of old, now i'm not sure it's an ideal anymore. I'm certain though, that most desire the sanctuary of a building, where inside it's walls they can do anything they want. There's nobody to tell you what to do. You are the boss. I started feeling this desire, late in my 20's.
My father was a career U.S. Navy man. He spent 21 years in service to his country. He retired with a rather nice pension, but paid the price in many ways. In his time spent in, he travelled many places in this world. He used to ragale me with stories of his military days and ways. Not always pleasent, but enriching non the less. For some of his travels, he was accompanied by his young bride. She lived with him for more than a couple of years in Hawaii. All expense paid, 2 year trip to the exotic locale. I don't recall all the places he said they lived, but for a time it was in Virginia. That is where they started their family. They began the process of adopting my brother, me, then my sister. These were very early years in my life and although i think i have one vision of the time, i can't be certain. Around 1963, my father got orders to be stationed in Newport Naval Shipyard, Rhode Island. He was born in Lincoln, RI and my mother in Providence, RI. so in essence they were moving back home.
After getting established up here, they went about seeking a house in which to make a home and raise their family. They found a nice house in a small town not too far from the base. I believe they paid something like $13,000. Over the years when they would tell the story, at the point they got to the price, they would say they couldn't believe they were $13,000 in debt. Imagine! I still have a vision of first walking in the backdoor. I was about 2 years old. We went through all the typical trials of family life. The family aged, as all do. After high school i went into the U.S.M.C. somewhat to my father's chagrin. We used to brawl with you guys, he would joke. But i knew he was proud. I found the life of a military person, not so much to my liking. I really didn't like being told what to do. I put in my obligated time and got out. I moved back home and stayed there while i figured out what i was going to do. I ended up landing a pretty good job and started making some decent pay. There was long hours, and lots of sacrifice of time, but the money was coming so i stayed at it.
A lot of my friends were getting married and buying their first houses. I started getting the itch. Not of getting married, of obtaining a house. I really didn't think i could afford to undertake such a large monetary requirement so i didn't try all that hard to do so. My sister, who was doing much better than i, had decided to build herself a house. She also was putting in major sacrifices of her time but was being rewarded very nicely. My parents were starting to get on in age and were in the mindset of downsizing to a smaller house. They got talking with my sister, and plans were made to build an inlaw apartment onto the house she was building. My brother had since gotten married and was living with his wife. That left me. If they sold our present house it meant i was out on the street till i found someplace to live.
I had never really entertained the idea of buying their house. I had always been handy and helped them in a lot of the remodeling projects they undertook. I guess they saw something i didn't yet see, and thought i would be a candidate to offer the house to. Our next door neighbor had always had an eye on the property and was told many a time he would have first refusal to buy it, whenever they planned on selling. That time was fast approaching. The issue was they needed the money from the sale of the house, to give some to my sister in building their portion of her creation. One day out of the blue my mother asked me, "Would you be interested in buying the house?" "What????" I was caught totally off guard. "I, err, umm, suppose so." But i had no idea if i could even afford to. I had never done any type of investigation as to what it would take to buy a house. hmm, Maybe it's time. I started doing research and was getting some discouraging news. It was seeming that it was just out of my reach. I called bank after bank to find out requirements and costs. Nothing was coming up good. Looks as though i'm gonna be living in an apartment.
I am not an apartment type person. I know, you do what you have to do survive, but i cringed at the thought of living in that situation. I would find it difficult to live in a setting where houses are a driveway's width apart. It's just not me. I explained my financial circumstances to my parents. They realized the bind i was in, but also the bind that they were in. They obviuosly needed to get a certain amount of money from the sale of the house to do what they were planning. They lowered the asking price to me. This figure was what they couldn't go below, and i wouldn't have expected them to. Still, even then the numbers were just out of reach. Part of the issue was the interest rates back then were high. The qualifications to meet minimum monthly payments were stricker also. Not at all like nowadays. I know most people my age, who bought back then, swear at what the offerings to a homebuyer are now. So be it, you live what you are dealt. If only i could get a break in interest rates, or something. They had some special first time home buyer plans, but again you had to meet certain requirements. Besides they were getting gobbled up buy all the buyers back then. It was starting to get to decision time. I called one bank and the representative asked me a question that had a major turning point in my life. "Are you a veteran?" I thought about it. "Why, yes i am." "Well we have one slot for a reduced rate that JUST opened up, but you have to be a veteran." My lucky day! I rememeber there were circumstances that surrounded the day and time i was calling, that i thought about afterward and found it a one-in-million chance that i would have called then. The people who had the slot, had their deal fall through, and this representative had just found this out moments before. If i hadn't been on the phone then, it surely would have been offered to someone else, and my dream would have been dashed out.
So obviously you all must know how the story ends. I became a first time homeowner soon after that. I remember thinking, i can't believe i'm this much in debt. In essence i have lived in the same house for almost 50 years. I have spent many an hour, lots of perspiration and quite a few pennies in making this my home. Putting my fingerprints on it, making it an extension of who i am. It's still not done, and it's not perfect, but it's mine! As long as i keep making the payments. It hasn't always been easy, and there have been many and up and down turns in my life, associated with this responsiblity. But i've hung on. There were times when i was close to eating the same food i was feeding whatever dog i had at the time. I've never been married. Good and bad. I've met with opportunistic women who upon sharing living quarters under my roof, thought they were entitled to some portion of my house. They tried very hard to make it so. They had absolutely no right to even think this, but that's how some people think and operate. I took the proper high road in dismissing this issue. But it wasn't easy. I swore if she had somehow gotten me kicked out and remained living there herself, i would have burned it to the ground. Luckily that never had to come to be. I reside still, in my first house; my first home. It's still not always easy. And i'm much more selective in whom i associate with. There are times when i can't really afford to do anything else but live in the house. In a sense i'm okay with that. I walk outside take in a few breaths of air and take in the big picture. Sometimes that's what you do to maintain the dream. Well, i gotta go. Somebody's yelling at me to do something...oh wait, that's me. 53/365