Master Cylinder Relay

Some of us were momentarily confused by the participation of "straight-edgers" - those who do not wish to drink beer in order to avoid legal penalties or the revocation of their yogic powers or whatever. Is not sobriety the cruellest prison? What could be more powerful than a drunken feeling of invincibility during the Chunkathlon? Years of having beer cans thrown at us by hicks in cars have made us open-minded, however.