★ Five Star Punched ★'s photostream  

I took a lot of pictures of the chubby squirrels in Boston. When I first spotted one I said "oh god...is that a beaver?!" I mean Christ on a bike those suckers are fatties! They make our Florida squirrels look so scrawny and pathetic. Any how, yes I know they don't look anything like beavers, I was only looking at the teeth, for the record. AND this is from a huge set of Raigen and this little fella...I got some funny shots of these 2 horsing around at the park, this is my favorite, I love that they're both running together and that the squirrel is off the ground fully, haha.

Haven't stopped my 365. I did miss a few days recently though. Started work. Between that and home and parenting and life it's been busy. But I am getting into a routine now so hopefully I can get pictures up and get my 365 updated.
I refuse to stop! Either way this is going to be a year to remember, not gonna let a couple missed days stop me this go around.

This is obviously not a 365 shot, but while updating the blog I came across it and felt like uploading it.
It's Raigen and E.T. playing in a fountain in downtown Boston. Gosh I miss that place. We all do.

Any how, also missed you guys!!!

These are the last shots I got of our son Merlin.
He was clearly pissed about the dogs being back home.

I remember taking these shots and being sad the one of me kissing sissy was blurred, then loving the one of Annie and Morgan watching Gizmo walk away, giggling at the one of Merlin all fluffed and laughing at the one of Austin mid-blink looking possessed and Merlin fluffed in the background with Gizmo being cool as a cucumber.

They all hurt now. I miss Sissy being whole and not having a broken leg, I miss Merlin in general, I miss everything about my son, I hate Annie and Austin. I hate that I have shots of them snuggled up with Raigen and in the room with my cats...I hate myself.

This is late, clearly.
I have actually taken a shot or more for each day since day 2, swear! I have just been dealing with being home and what not and have yet to have time to upload. So here I am attempting to catch up, slowly.

This was day 3. Second day of driving. Look at day 2 and see the size of that car and now look at Raigen and the dogs...yea, I can't believe we fit so much in that car and that we have the best daughter in the entire world. That kid sat in a car for 3 days with no room like the rest of us, how awesome is she?
Also...we have that 1 dog which is in that 3% of dogs who take Xanax and have the opposite effect. No really. He had it coursing through is veins from day one going home and refused to let is get to his 13 year old ass, he was in fact worse at times. God.
My stomach is rumbling just thinking of that.

This day was filled with walking in on strangers in public bathrooms, mustaches, face punches, more rain, a shitty hotel, more wet items, milkshakes (look at the weight I gained over this summer, ew) dogs stealing milkshakes (check out Raigen trying to fight Austin off of her, he'll run across 6 lanes for vanilla ice-cream) random conversation about life and a few more states. I don't remember where we shot these at, uh... Washington? Pennsylvania? I dunno...am I going the right direction? Geography was never a strong point. Any how, we drove a good while but with a kiddo we couldn't make the best timing and had to stop over again.

Can you tell I didn't shower the night before? No one did. The dogs were cleaner I think. So I wore my sexter hair, mustache and pajamas down the east coast a bit more. I was on vacation thank you very much! What's your excuse?

The next day we made it home. I had a week at home before facing the worst day since my Grandfather died in 2002, then faced a even more painful day just 4 days later. It's been a rough couple of weeks kids.

My facebook update was:
"We've had a long and traumatic night and morning, bleeding into the day now. Morgan & Raigen had to see and hear me in true physical shock, Raigen & I had to sit and nervously watch Morgan at the hospital trying to do everything she could to save our son...my cat Merlin...we all knew it was too late for him though. I lost a son last night...a life I helped come into this world and one that existed because I hand raised him from his first day here on this earth 9 years ago...In the midst of it all we left with out checking our other kids and had to come home and frantically search room by room for his brother and sister. I can't describe how scary it was seeing their moments while we were away, seeing the evidence of them being hunted in their own home....knowing I wasn't there for them. Masin was in such shock he was just out of it...his eyes were fixed, his mouth was wide open, he was mentally gone/ in shock. We found him under a couch which had been worked on steadily in attempts to get him out...to think of what he heard and saw, just feet away from him lay his dead brother and he had to sit there and watch as his hiding spot was slowly picked away...luckily we got to him. His sister we found in another room wedged between a window and another couch, she had a broken foot and was scared shit less. They all are in the hospital but both are doing okay now. Masin came out of shock well and after a good work over has minor injuries I think stemmed from him trying desperately to get under the couch that in the end saved him. Sissy (her names Morgin though) has to go back next week for surgery on her little foot...they want the soft tissue to heal first. We get to go in a few and pick up our kids. Minus one...it's always been me + 3...I can't word this loss. The worst part...it was at the hands/mouth of our own dog.... Morgan's dog, one I love dearly, one I've babied and played favorites with, one I didn't read the signs with. We heard her bark as we left for those short 20 minutes and had no idea what we would be walking back into... last night we lost a son, today we have to say good bye to a daughter. She isn't the dog we knew...she doesn't look like the dog we trusted, she looks so very different and terrifying to me. I've never been scared of an animal in all of my life...I miss my son...I miss the old Annie... These times can't be harder. We're currently in a custody battle for Raigen, I'm trying to find work while being flat broke the week before school, school is about to start for Morgan so that stress is there...and now this...I miss my kids."

I dunno who all knows my cats story and who doesn't. 2 weeks after my Grandfather died via suicide these little cats entered my life. I was hanging by a thread with my Grandmother and found these freshly born, still in their sacks kittens, 2 first, then one the next day, the one I lost recently. I bottle fed them and cared for them for 9 years, I'm their parent, there is no doubt in that, they look to me as their alpha and listen to me like kids should. Losing one of them felt exactly like I lost a human child, a life is a life and in mine our pets are equal to us. I can't explain the trauma, the stress, the sheer rage, the hurt...I can't. There has been 2 days I didn't cry since this happened on the 15th. I have 2 furkids left...Masin my little man is suffering from severe post traumatic stress, Sissy just had surgery Tuesday and had a cast put on yesterday. The days are long with them and scary. I'm suffering from a bit if PTSD as well and have become very scared in this house and very scared of dogs, which has never happened to me. I haven't touched the dogs physically since that day. Just 20 minutes before they took my son we gave them treats and kissed their noses. That was the last time I looked at them and touched them.
I'm lost.

That was Sunday night. That following Thursday I walked into court, represented myself and came to terms with losing my daughter thanks to a selfish man and the fact that I am being judged by what I don't have and he's being lead by ego and that Leo bullshit drive to win, even at her loss. I hate so much these days. I'm not me. Morgan isn't herself, Raigen isn't here and I am numb aside from feeling hurt and feeling as if I'm just drifting in all of this.
Morgan and I are going to attend therapy together...she's not coping either...I can't imagine the pain she feels in all of this...

Pray for us.