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Good morning everyone!
It's freezing cold outside, but luckily, I don't have to go out right not. I plan to enjoy a hot coffee at home.
I need time to think.
I've been in a weird state of minde lately (meaning last few months).

Things were so crazy at work I even wondered if I had done the right choice beeing a shrink. I let the team I work with make me think I was not competent at my job. And because it's my first position as a pro, and because I have self esteem issues, I believed them. I had to go back to my exams results, internships reports to remind myself I graduated with honors, and therefor should be capable. It took me time to realize they were the one who were wrong working the way they work with patients. Time, and loads of talking with other, more experienced professionals. I feel sick when I go to the hospital, and I'm really glad I resigned. Only 3 weeks left to go.

Like I said yesterday, my personal life had ups and downs. What worries me is that I seem to have a hard time having some sense of right and wrong. I let things happen I probably shouldn't have.

Yep...things got to change.
I'm now waiting for a definitive answer from the University. I need to be admitted.

My love-life have been SO hectic for lets say... 3 years.
I had my heart broken, twice, by the same person. I had lovely relationships, but as great as they were, they were not supposed to last. I had crushes.

I'm quite sure my heart is still not repared, and I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from this guy.

Even though I still think that someday I could meet someone and decide to spend the rest of my life with him, I decided I won't wait for it to happen.

I'm making decisions on my own, life-changing decisions. From now on, I'm my best partner!

Anyway: HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY!

I've been a shadow lately.

Memories from the past on the left side, memories for the future on the rigth.

Yesterday could be the first day of te rest of my life.

All of those who know me know that I've had a hard time at my job last 2 years.
At first, it was with te patients, who scared me a bit because they could be so violent.
But then, I started to think that the staff, the team i work with, was even more violent. Not in a physical way. In a psychological one. Working in a psychiatric unit, that was a problem.
I've been thinking about resigning for a while now. But I was very concerned about being unemployed again. Psychologists don't find a job easily. That's why I didn't quit.
But things have been getting worse lately, and I finally decided that I couldn't stand what was happening any longer.
so: I QUIT last week.

I made a major decision, too. I'm going back to school. Or at least, I'm trying. What you see in the picture in my application for a PhD program. I sent it yesterday, after days and days of writing essays...
I really hope I'll be selected.

Oh... by the way. I would have to move, and leave Paris, my family ans friends, for at least 5 years.
'cause the Uni I sent this to...is in Montréal, Canada. I told you it ws a major decision.