Xena and I

love

Xena still shows a little spark but soon quality of life will give way to just being alive.
End of days are near I fear, but it’s so hard to let go.

There was some nice sun today but just recently the sky went dark and burst forth with hail.

--

Xena passed away the afternoon of August 17. 1997-2008.

--

For those just joining: Xena is 11.
She was diagnosed with cancer July 22 after a rapid weight loss. Earlier post.

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Comments

dominocat says:

Oh Kevin - I am so sorry...

Xena has always held a special place among my flickr kitty contacts. I wish I had some words of real comfort, but I know how it must wrench your heart to deal with this. My love to you both...
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Lebatihem says:

It is hard, but it;s the last kindness we can do for them. I am sure you will find the strength to do the right thing for her when the time comes.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

lilith penguin says:

Cherish the time you have left with Xena as I am able to cherish it through your photos. She is certainly an incredible kitty.

--
Seen in my contacts' photos. (?)
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Xenotar28 says:

Very tough, Kevin, but you know what must be done. Xena has been a joy to us through your wonderful work, and she will always be in your heart. For a dog person like me Xena has been an ambassador of good will and mediation between two factions. Take care.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

maxivida says:

i agree with george (another dog person speaking!). xena has been my favourite flickr cat. i am so sorry to hear she is not doing well. i know there are difficult times ahead, but i hope you will have enough strength to keep in mind the good times and all the moments of joy she has given you.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

fofurasfelinas says:

I don't have much experience in this... but please wait for her to take the "decision" ... because we never know if it was not too soon...
Oh it is so hard...
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

pen3ya says:

Everyday I think of both of you.
Sending hugs and kisses.
Take care.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

oscillize says:

Oh man, Kevin, sorry to hear Xena's getting on in years and is nearing the end of days. Our hearts go out to both of you - it will be hard I know to let go, and we know there's no easy way to get through it.

Adam + Margaret
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Catskills Grrl says:

Sending all my best and most peaceful thoughts to you.

This is a beautiful portrait.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Ariel ♈ says:

sorry to hear that.. but.. cheer up.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

ms.Tea says:

i'm so sorry to hear this.
beautiful picture.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Barb Henry says:

Having been through this Kevin I know how painful it can be. You will know when it is time because Zena will let you know in her special way as my cat did. Your beautiful bond of love will continue beyond her release from this world and it will always be special. Be strong for her because this is what she needs most from you right now.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

poetdiva says:

I'm very sorry. I have lost two precious kitties. I still miss them, even years later. I can see how much you love your precious kitty from the photos. This photo will comfort you...
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Vicki's Pics says:

It is hard catching up on two months worth of posts in just an afternoon, and I find myself sitting here on the couch, hugging my cats close and crying my eyes out. Peace and comfort to you.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Kevin Steele says:

Thanks so much for all the kind thoughts and shared experiences.

Oh, poetdiva, I know I'll miss her years later. Long goodbyes are so hard. I can’t help but think about every cat these days, especially Angelo (1983-2001). Xenotar28 and maxivida, I love dogs but it was connecting with Angelo that made me realize I am a cat person.

One of my favourite pictures ever is this picture from January 2001 of young Xena and old man Angelo, taken by my friend Rob Cruickshank.

I know there have been some meaningful moments today, especially between Toby and Xena.

I have her on a pillow on my desk right now. She was always a beside-you cat rather than an on-you cat.

Xena has been such an online cat. She has been my little kitty muse since I rediscovered photography. I’ve been posting her pictures online since 2001.

Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Maia C says:

We accept the pain of making that final decision so that our beloved pets don't have to endure pain.

Xena knows you love her.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

mosaiq says:

i am so sorry.
it is hard to lose such a friend, and watching her to lose her must tear you apart. but also it gives you to the chance to say good bye. and i am sure you are giving her a great one. she must be happy to feel all your love.
enjoy her company as long as you can.

hugs
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Hypnotic Aubergine says:

I'm so sorry :-(
a sweet caress for you, Xena lil' one *
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Kevin Steele says:

Xena passed away this afternoon.

Our last days had many special moments, especially with the other cats.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Catskills Grrl says:

Oh, Kevin. I'm sorry. I send my best wishes and thoughts.

To Xena!! A cat life lived without t fear and torture and want. Only love and kindness. If only all animals had that chance. You did good.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

lilith penguin says:

Kevin, I'm so sorry to hear about Xena's passing. She truly brightened my days with her photos.

--
Seen on your photo stream. (?)
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Vicki's Pics says:

I'm so very sorry Kevin.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

pen3ya says:

Kevin, I am so sorry.
My sympathies are with you.

She is so precious and special.
So sad. I'm in tears....
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Studio-Eleven says:

Kevin, I am so sorry for your loss. You made her entire life, including her final days joyous.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

MiaRossy says:

My heart skipped a beat when I read she passed away.
You gave her so much love and care though all of her life and in these last days, you made her life a bliss to the very last moment. I can't imagine a better gift.
She has had a good life, not as long as we all wished her, but a really good one. You are in my thoughts Kevin, I'm so really sorry for your loss.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

pen3ya says:

For Xena.

Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Mr Moor says:

Hi Kevin, we don't know eachother but I came across your stream through Shigemi's flowers for you and Xena. I'm very sorry for your loss:-(
It is obvious that you loved her very much and I can relate to your pain.
It must have been devastating since it all happened so quickly, poor Xena and poor you. Best wishes in these sad times.
Rest in peace Xena.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

lu 路  says:

All my sweetest love for you, my dear...
Happy for Xena, as she has no pain anymore and gave you the best (all your family: cats and human) these years and even when she was ill.

So, I'm sorry for your lost, but I'm sure she's living better in soul's world.

A big hug for you,,, I cannot imagine what you feel as I never lost one of my cats, but... well, big kiss, Kev.
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

pigdump says:

broken hearted I am. i know how you must feel. but i'm so happy that your little beauty will be forever on flickr and in our cats she left behind. Many hugs from Pinky, Boo and me...and my Frank and Louis will be playing with her in cat heaven. Love you, Kevin!
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

MiaRossy says:

I passed by to add something somebody wrote to me after my most beloved dog Rossy died, it made smile in a very painful moment, hope it can make you smile too, as it applies to you and Xena as much as it did for me and Rossy.

"if a person on a star which is 3 light years far from here saw the earth ,
he can see Rossy and you playing ,laughing and sleeping together
we never lose any friend
always together "
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Kevin Steele says:

That's really sweet MiaRossy. I like that a lot.

Thanks so much for the kind words, all. I'll be very sad for a while but a huge weight is lifting because any suffering is over and I do believe she was loved and knew it up until the end.

Toby and Fiddy are so sad, too. She died at home so there is no question in their minds, I’m sure. I’m doing my best to dote on them today, but soon they go on a diet! They definitely took advantage of the free feeding for Xena situation.

I know that Toby and Xena had some very special time on the couch on Saturday and he spent some time with her again on Sunday.

On Saturday Toby jumped up on the couch and sat down a cat length away from Xena, friendly but not invasive. I got up to put some dishes in the dishwasher and when I returned Xena had moved close to Toby, which took some will and desire.

They sat together for a good while.

Eventually Toby started brushing Xena's face with his tail.

I got Toby for Xena as much as for me.

Eventually I'll have to get a kitten for Toby. (And Fiddy, of course.)
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )