May 6th - Sensei Syndrome

Summer has rocked up early, we hadn't got a room ready for it so it's been sleeping on the living room floor on a pile of sofa cushions.

It's still very welcome.

We schlep our practice dummies and defibs out onto the front lawn and establish ourselves a classroom on the massive ridge that runs above the drive of the Castle. There in the shade of an almight Scots pine we drill each other on paediatric trauma and arrest protocols, while Uzi and Vatican lounge on the bench, laughing at us and making ascerbic comments.

Back in the classroom we puzzle over "Cushing's syndrome" - is it the same as Cushing's triad; is it even the same Cushing?

Sensei decides he wants his own syndrome, so invents "Sensei Syndrome" - a gradual onset of lethargy, rambling speech, glucose/caffeine dependence and anti-social behaviour.

The class as a group has already taken on the "unusual blame conception" symptom from the paediatric trauma section of the book. Coupled with our widening waistbands, it adds a certain neurosis to the most unlikely situations.

Like medieval seers we nod sagely as we read difficult sections in our textbooks - "This is complicated because we all had pudding at lunch time..."