JoshuaTrottier's photostream  

Hasselblad 500C
Kodak Portra 400

I'm uploading this for the sake of what I have to say- I've gone back and forth between editing this and trying to salvage this metering error on my part and I've finally thought of something worth saying that equals this photo out and gives reason to upload and voice what my thoughts are.

I’m terrified of growing up… I don’t think I’ve ever been this concerned with the progression of age ever before either. I’m only seventeen and I’m already worried whether or not I’ll live to see the end of this year, 2012, and what I should do with this time. Live as if I’m dying or live as if I’m dying, there aren’t many options because when it all boils down to the bottom, I’ll die at some point and deciding what I want to do with my life, well now that’s terrifying. Disregarding the possible impending end for many or all of us, as an American, I’m terrified for my country too. I grew up believing that this was the land of the free and now I’m watching our rights be tested and pulled more and more every year! It’s terrifying, if our progression as the human race was supposed to better prepare us for a more fruitful future then where is it? We may be traveling in an upward direction of knowledge as our technological, medical, and science fields advance; however, socially, politically, and the need for world peace is traveling at a progressively faster downward pace.

"Loneliness is just a word that means you are feeling alone and depressed and starting to think about how difficult and strangely impossible it is for you to be interested in the same people who are interested in you and how if you don’t change your worldview and personality soon then you will probably always feel alone and depressed because you can’t remember a time when you haven’t felt alone and depressed.” - Tao Lin

Hasselblad 500C
Kodak Portra 400 + BW processing

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."

Hasselblad 500C
Kodak Portra 400

Day 2 out of 4 for finals week.
This is where I spend most of my time on the internet, plopped right here on my bed with usually tea or a Pepsi and my window open if it isn't raining. I'm not sure why but I just love sitting in my room, it's peaceful.

“Of course these are only images, my images, and in the end the end they are born out of something much more akin to a voice, which though invisible to the eye and frequently unheard by even the ear still continues, day and night, year after year, to sweep through us all. Just as you have swept through me. Just as I now sweep through you. ”

Hasselblad 500C
Kodak Portra 400

Another quote from House of Leaves, I can't get over how great that book is, I long to read it again. Today I spent most of my morning making a five course italian meal for my Foods and Nutrition final for school, a lot of it turned out good, I burnt a set of basil pesto bread shots though so I had to make more... definitely filled my kitchen with smoke; however, the basil pesto bread shots had mayonnaise on them so I was glad to see them meet their doom. This week will be incredibly busy and I'll most likely have no time to shoot until the weekend when I'm hopefully going up to the mountain for the entire day, I really hope I can because that'll allow me to shoot a roll or two depending how far I want to venture into the forest.

“You might try then, as I did, to find a sky so full of stars it will blind you again. Only no sky can blind you now. Even with all the Iridescent magic up there your eye will no longer linger on the light, it will no longer trace constellations. You’ll care only about the darkness and you’ll watch it for hours, for days, maybe even for years, trying in vain to believe you’re some kind of indispensable, universe-appointed sentinel, as if just by looking you could actually keep it all at bay. It will get so bad you’ll be afraid to sleep.”

Hasselblad 500C
Kodak Portra 400

I feel so grown up today, I went shopping for all the supplies I need by myself to finish my foods and nutrition final, I'm making everything from scratch and so far it's really good.

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”