Golden Retrievers Attack 11 21 2005

November 21, 2005 is a day I shall long remember. A friend of mine took this photo and then took off running for the car. He was able to escape this pack of angry golden retriever puppies. I wasn't so lucky. Like velociraptors, this pack had me running in fear and always looking back to see if the blood thirsty hounds were catching up to me. I ran right into the mouth of an awaiting retriever. The pack soon caught up and they all began tearing at my flesh and my clothes with their razor-sharp puppy teeth. Their combined intellect far surpassed mine, yet I had a secret weapon. I had a tennis ball that I just found minutes earlier. I raised the ball in my right hand and pretended to hurl the ball with all my might. Although the ball was still in my hand, the puppies all began running for the ball. Before they realized that I never threw the ball, I was back to the safety of my car with my friend. We were safe even as we watched the puppies at the back passenger side of the car. I wondered what they were doing looking at the back door when my friend and I were up front. Those puppies were not as intelligent as I once thought. I then looked at the backseat and saw that one of the golden puppies had no doubt followed my friend into the car and was now sitting and staring at me with his tongue bobbing in and out of his mouth. That little puppy then walked to the door and used his paw to open the back door. The door swung open and the pack quickly jumped into the car. The puppies lunged into the front seat and began to lick my arms and face. I began to panic. The largest and apparent leader of the pack jumped onto my chest and his mouth went for my throat. Every good time and happy memory that I ever had during my life passed through my mind. When that ended, about ten seconds later, I passed out and...