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filmgoerjuan  Pro User  says:

He can serve it all he wants, I'm still not drinking it!

(So this is what the special Mormon underwear looks like)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Sugared Harpy says:

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. I wonder if the Udderly Wonderful Boy tours the Midwest?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Twinmama  Pro User  says:

There are some things you just shouldn't do for a job...
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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plazajen  Pro User  says:

ohhhh no. What an unfortunately-placed-udder, and on a young man still forming his sense of self and ego. Must be why his cheeks are so ruddy.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Thister says:

Hahah! That's hilarious! I would never volunteer to do something like that!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Schnittman  Pro User  says:

There is just absolutely no damn way that anything that I write here will have any impact WHATSOEVER after taking a gander at the udderly absurd get-up.

I'm beyond caring what the kid was thinking when he agreed to don this gay apparel, but I am fascinated with the person who constructed this suit-thing. What could he/she possibly have been thinking? Who did he/she think was going to wear this thing? Could he/she have possibly gambled on sub-par IQ Mormons "volunteering" (whatever the hell THAT means in this case).
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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MarenB  Pro User  says:

Oh my! That poor boy. :)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Paul Gutman says:

I hate to say it, but that udder's not on his "gut" at all.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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RzDrms says:

holy cow. those latex gloves and those utters...reminds me of my worst date ever. ;-)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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charsuede says:

Classic
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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The Coyote  Pro User  says:

Holy swiss cheese, Batman. I wish I could find the picture of my boyfriend wearing a very similar costume for Halloween. But for some reason, my boyfriend's teats looked a lot less like a bizarre strap-on sex toy. And shouldn't his gloves be shaped like little hooves?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Random and Odd  Pro User  says:

Okay I don't EVER want to hear you crack jokes about living in Utah again.

We don't get boys in cow suits in California.

That there is Blog Fodder.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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GraceD  Pro User  says:

I'm terribly sorry everyone, but this needs to be said:

dick cheese

Again, very sorry.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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monofonik says:

I work in a grocery store and NOTHING cool ever happens like that.

I'm quitting.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Willo  Pro User  says:

like this mormon boy needed any help prolonging his virginity... this pretty much seals it till he's at least 23.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Bucky Four-Eyes  Pro User  says:

I can honestly say I've never had *that* kind of junk fall out when I yanked on a zipper.

Shame, really...
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Po0py says:

Oh dear. Whats worse? Having to wear that costume in public or having your picture of it on one of the most popular blogs on the internet?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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ieatcrayonz says:

Wonder what his shoe sizes are.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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PixelFish  Pro User  says:

Poor guy. This is worse than having your baby pictures splashed all over the interweb. (At the same time, it would be criminal for you not to share. Ah, the moral conundrum.)

Whoever designed that costume should have just stuck with no udder. Whatever protrudes from down there looks rather disturbing.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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bluheron  Pro User  says:

Well, at least they didn't make him wear the nose!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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erat  Pro User  says:

I love the look in the little girl's face in the picture above. I think she speaks for all of us.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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tigerlily004  Pro User  says:

can't breath. laughter. incapactitating.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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spoonleg  Pro User  says:

Latex gloves?! LATEX GLOVES?!?!

I would not eat cheese handed to me by a man-cow wearing latex gloves. Especially considering the conspicuous location of those udders.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Videodrone says:

Hey, it’s show biz! A guy’s gotta start somewhere - but still, I’d be wearing a mask with a paper bag over that…
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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SuzeM says:

Maybe that's his Mission? Two years in a cow suit surreptitiously prosthelytizing (sp?) cheese samplers in grocery stores across the country?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Jennifer B@suel  Pro User  says:

he was selling the cheese, did he eat any of it to demonstrate its delicious quality? because that would be weird, cow eating its own cheese.

see, i'm already going there...
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Michael Tyas says:

good point. Isn't that how mad cow disease was started?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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MrsStrizzay says:

4 teets are better than one.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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CowboyJunkies says:

I don't believe when they told him he was going on a mission, that this is exactly what he had in mind...

And I must point out that I have been to Wisconsin probably four times in the past two years and I have never, ever seen anything like this. I think Wisconsin would be pissed that they didn't think of this first. Oh wait, they're too busy shooting kitty cats...
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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BlythesWideShut says:

That old lady, she down wit' da cheese!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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lola goetz  Pro User  says:

so, so wrong.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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antimony funk! says:

My first job was something similar to this. I was a mascot at a pizza place. Every day I went as a gigantic, plush Italian policeman.

At least I didn't have udders.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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All Encompassingly says:

Oh, those rosy Utah cheeks.
Also, his udders appear to be touching the cheese. I'm an uddertarian and that just won't do.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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puttytat  Pro User  says:

and he "volunteered" to do this..... that's a "real" man for you!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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fjordpixie says:

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? His pants fit like a glove...tee hee
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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HenrykM says:

fjordpixie....Get your mind above your waist. ;-)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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ThatClaw says:

thing is, a GIRL wearing this would draw even more obscene comments.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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styro  Pro User  says:

oh the humanity.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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kimberlys says:

I thought the key to it all was this sentence: “Well, the girl who was supposed to do this backed out at the last second.”

I'm guessing said girl was young, cute, and the object of many of the young man's fantasies.

The things you boys will do to get a girl to notice you. Sheesh. Charming though. So it works. ; )

Dooce, you gotta go back to the grocery store next week and ask the boy to introduce you to the girl who was supposed to wear the cow suit. Do the boy a favor. Tell her how lucky she is to know a guy like him, who will wear her humilation for her.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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thehoneybunny  Pro User  says:

heather,

you realize who that is, right?

it's Tucker Calrson!

he's moonlighting at your local grocery store!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Snickrsnack Katie  Pro User  says:

His parents must be so proud of him, wearing that cow suit and all. And that udder is totally touching that box of cheese. Ick.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Mochawoman  Pro User  says:

brutal.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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AviatorDave [admin'ed by gailatlarge]  Pro User  says:

Quadropenia! (Any old Who fans here?)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Brian E. Ford  Pro User  says:

"I'm one."

(We'll see if anyone catches that reference.)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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sporky  Pro User  says:

multiple-micro penii?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Flux=Rad says:

Oh God so many old people!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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christyscherrer  Pro User  says:

i feel so sad that this guy chose to do this for money. Has he no other options?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Brian E. Ford  Pro User  says:

Heheh, well... I'm actually only 28, so not "much" older than you. I do, however, have a well-rounded appreciation of music, movies, and literature. While I like "The Who" I'll also be found listending to "The White Stripes." While I love "Roman Holiday," I can't get enough Wes Anderson. While a little Salinger makes me giddy, I'm also a sucker for all things Harry Potter. Old? Probably. Young at heart? Definitely!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Paolo.Pace  Pro User  says:

I KNEW this day would come! I KNEW it! Human milk in the grocery store. HA!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Hedrowilson  Pro User  says:

Ohhh dear god. They should make that man get down on all fours! That is seriously frightening! Oh dear! The cheese people really must think of the children! The children! Think of the children! Talk about a'scaring'de'bambinos!

-H
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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donna di mondo  Pro User  says:

7,534 views and still counting! DOOCE you have to be the all time winner of most viewed pics! I do have to give the cow boy credit...awfully big of him to say he's okay with it. Cool.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Tifty says:

Did you sample the cheese?
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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sleepingmermaid says:

My goodness, those are some low-hanging udders..Udderly fantastic!

(long time lurker, first time commentor)
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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realitychick69 says:

i3.photobucket.com/albums/y57/gingercb47/Prof ile%20Photos...
Moo, moo, buckeroo...

The mask/hat just isn't very convincing, though.

I, too, am from the south, so I know what real udders look like.

That thing looks like some sort of cheap dildo...hmmm...could...be...interesting.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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_heather_r_  Pro User  says:

Aw! Cow boy is cute!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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shellipsm  Pro User  says:

the things we do for the pink taco....
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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omgitzkatxox says:

I love this cow. I love him, and nobody can take that away!

x3kat
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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*Pink*Diva* says:

the only person Ive seen in a store that could top that is a guy we call "Corndog". He passes out those mini-dogs at a grocery store nearby...when not on corndog patrol, he dresses as Capt Kirk. ALL THE TIME!! Yikes.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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Appleshell says:

Obviously you didn't attend my Halloween Party, because one of the guys actually came in that costume. He's a cop. So he actually came as a Pig disguised as a Cow.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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aok225 says:

Jesus H. Christ on a pony! I almost peed my pants when I saw this!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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carljohnson  Pro User  says:

I hope he wasn't giving out samples of teat dip.
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

hiee-ya [deleted] says:

this was too funny!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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bellablue  Pro User  says:

He looks scarily like an ex boyfriend of mine... YIKES!
Posted 49 months ago. ( permalink )

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squidlicious says:

I so would have grabbed the udder...and winked
Posted 48 months ago. ( permalink )

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Precious Roy  Pro User  says:

awwww that's depressing
Posted 48 months ago. ( permalink )

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Rainman662 says:

Reminds me of a friend who had a summer job working as "Soy McCoy", the official 'spokes-bean' for the Ohio Soybean Growers Council. Imagine standing around at county fairs all summer long wearing a giant soybean.
Posted 48 months ago. ( permalink )

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Brian E. Ford  Pro User  says:

'Tis certainly better than -eating- a regular sized soybean.
Posted 48 months ago. ( permalink )

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checoivan says:

Alternative Cowboy
:)
Posted 48 months ago. ( permalink )

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