Ever Since Leonardo's Restaurant Hired "Lil' Helper," Tuna Fish was Missing from the Pantry Night after Night after Night

This was an SPCA cat named Cream. He does look like "the cat that got the cream", doesn't he? Leonardo di Catrio, the master chef and owner, was missing a lot of tunafish from his restaurant pantry right after he hired "Cream" as his "Lil' Helper".

They served tuna broiled, baked, fried, pulled, pushed, au gratin, flaked, boiled, steamed, scalloped, a la mode, etc. They made it in souffles, milkshakes, etc. Their Char-Broiled Tuna Jello was a house specialty. They had fancy drinks at the bar. One of them was served with little parasols on the edge of the glass, and was called "Tuna on the Beach". The management discovered that if they served too many of those, that the patrons had trouble finding their wallets to pay for their meal. A lot of cool cats hung out there. Many of them arrived in Catillacs. One time, too many patrons got drunk at the same time, and the "Catalina Police Department" sent around a Catty Wagon to round them all up.

Rumors were going around that the Chef's Hat wasn't really Cream the Orange Cat's, but perhaps was "liberated" from a sweet little two year old girl in Oregon, named Anna Leigh. Investigation was ongoing. One of the detectives was moving rather slowly on the case, and kind of a sour puss. He would have been glad to get just enough evidence to make it a pussdemeanor, but the DA wanted a feliny charge. Meantime, no one wants to fire this cat from the restaurant because they are afraid he will sue, if innocent.

Do you think the DNA on the orange tabby cat fur they found, will come back as Cream's? Is he innocent or guilty? It does all look kind of fishy. Call 555-HOAX, and for only $3.00 you can cast your vote. For only $19.95 more you can have your vote actually be counted in our survey. You will receive a catificate of authenkittyness, on recycled paper, and if you are among the first 100 to vote, you will also receive a "psychedelic, multi-colored, plaster of Paris, elephant's foot shaped umbrella stand and combination knife sharpener. Relax, the shipping will be only $33.00 more.

It is said that in England, one is guilty until proven innocent, but in the USA one is innocent until the 11 o'clock news that night. It will be difficult to get a conviction with a face like Cream's. We may have to call in the television DA, Shark.

Anna Leigh is crying her eyes out. She is trying to show some mercy, and thinks perhaps Cream didn't steal her hat on porpoise, but just for the halibut. Either way, mercy or no, she has lobster hat. Uh oh, I think I am floundering and better quit writing. Delina

Update, about October or Novermber of 2007 Calico Halle has complied with a plea bargain she made, and given eye witness testimony that she saw "Cream the Orange Cat" take Anna Leigh's Chefs' Hat! Cream, alias "L'il Helper" has gone to jail, and Calico Halle has gone into Witness Protection Program. Stay tuned for sightings of Calico Halle.
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"L" is for Lil' Helper
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Tenuous Link: chef's hat