Christ Portrait #4

This is number #4 in my ongoing series of JC portraits

8" x 10" Acrylic on wood panel, Jan. 2009

Since childhood I've been exposed to the image of Jesus Christ. Usually bloody, and nailed to a cross. I was told that we is the savior of mankind. I was also told he was the son of God, God himself, and many other conflicting things, including that he does not, and did not, exsist at all.

I have had a long and very serious relationship with this man. I have thought of him often for year upon year. Yet still, I don't know what he is, or if he is anything.

I have spent hours speaking with him, though even as I spoke, I did not know if I was talking to him or to myself. I have an idea that he did exist, yet also ideas that he was created by men to control man.

I think it is good what he, among others, represent, (usually). Something should stand for what we have come to believe is good and noble in us. I think that this is useful.

However, It seems to me that science disputes him. That even common sense dictates that the existence of he as a God is foolishness.

And yet, there is a burning desire in me that wants these "fairy tales" about goodness, and righteousness, and a everlasting soul living beyond this world to be true.

What a shame if all there is to us is this short and mostly superficial life of ours. What a disappointment.

In my home, and in my studio, I have many images of the Christ. Also, Buddha, and other persons said to be inspired from things beyond this short life span.

Even my own father, long dead, I relate to as if he were still alive. I carry on conversations with all of these people. Some would think me mad. And in a way, I must agree. Is it madness to believe in something that is logically and scientifically disputed? Is it mad to believe in magic and miracles? Is it crazy to think that there is anything more to us than this struggle we call our "life"?

If I were to live 1000 years I doubt I could be certain of the most simple question of anything pertaining to life beyond death. Jesus Christ is the symbol that represents all these questions to me.

** I used a picture from an old painting as my reference model. I found it through a google image search. I have no idea who the original artist was. I can't find that reference picture any more, so I do not know to whom to give credit. If anyone knows, I'd appreciate a heads up. Thanks. ~ RS - 1/2009