Please Complete This Test...

Today I went on an interview in Princeton, NJ. You'd think that there would be smart people all over the place, conversing about " hydrocoptic marzel-vanes, so fitted to the ambifasciant lunar wane shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented." Nope. Not where I was.

I arrived at my interview about 15 minutes early and while I was attempting to review some notes I made, I heard a tap on my windshield. I looked up to see a see a man motioning me to follow him while he talked into his phone. He introduced himself as the CFO.

Once through the door, I was greeted by the office manager and the newest addition to the team, a frumpily dressed woman who I could tell couldn't wait to get home to her cats. She had just completed her interview and accepted their offer and was thanking them as she walked through the door and she whispered to me "You're going to love it here. They do so much interesting work." Apparently they just give you a job if you show up for the interview.

"Congrats" I said to her in passing as I was being ushered across the avocado green lobby which was modern for 1973. I caught a glimpse of some orange office furniture in the next room over as we made our way to the conference room. The room had two exposed brick walls but again, not NYC loft trendy, more of a Brady Bunch kitchen look. My first instinct was to run.

The CFO ran down the benefits which included: 401k with no match (but you're not elligible for a year), monthly accruing vacation (but all vacation is frozen until next november) and casual dress (but not jeans... khakis). He asked me if I had any questions and I thought about saying "What the hell am I doing here?" but instead I asked him some job specific questions to which he replied that he had no idea but if I filled out these forms, he was going to get some technical people to talk to me. He then handed me some paperwork, including the above "Skill Test" and walked out the door.

This test was an entire page of increasingly difficult problems designed to test mental capacity. The test also include brain busters like "28 / 4 = ?" I giggled the entire time to myself, even taking out my cellphone to snap a picture of this question. I was worried for a minute that they might come in while I had my phone out and think I was using my phone as a calculator but then I realized that there was no way I was taking this job anyway.

So I completed the application, as well as the test, which they obviously copied from MENSA and I sat. Then I sat some more. Then I listened to a few conversations through the wall. Checked some email on my phone. Sat some more. Next time I looked at my phone, 45 minutes had passed since I had arrived and obviously nobody was coming to see me so I decided to go find someone. Nope.... nobody to be seen from outside the conference room or in the lobby.

So I left.