Caitlyn Penke's photostream

carelessly, we all wait for things that will never come...

I started working on my fashion work while I had winter break from classes. This is just the beginning of it.
Hummingbirds make me think of spring, so in working this photograph I wanted to use colors that reminded me of the idea of season.

MUA: Allyson Perkins
Model: Chelsea Goodrich
Photo|PP: Caitlyn Penke

photography isolates that one moment we cannot see and captures it.
owen butler.

Wise words from my "life lessons" professor at Uni. And when I say life lessons class I actually mean my photojournalism professor.

Set off many smoke bombs for this photo with the help of Jason again.

I quite enjoyed the trees in the background at sunset. However my assistant did run off into that hill when he saw a herring fly by and he went to chase it.

So here's another photo from my final. The only problem I have with it is I am still unsure of if I like how the boots came out.

In my absence, I spent my summer working and then the month of August being ill. September up until now I have been working my ass off in my academics. Since I didn't shoot at all this summer, I based my final fine art project around creating the manipulations that I so very much enjoy! As I was very limited for time, I only really enjoyed three of the five images I created, but I am posting some of them anyways.

I think in my five month absense (I think it's been that long), I have a lot to catch up with and a lot of artist's streams to view.

My friend Jason actually helped me with my final and being able to capture my photos, as well as putting up with my re-shoots. He also enabled some ideas for the future (some having to with using this sheet with portraits!), as well as chose this as the image for me to post, so grazie!

Enjoy, :]

Tearing up inside, I drown in my sorrow
gone away and never to return.
I bury my memories, my thoughts, deep inside
for fear of crying.
My quivering lips speak prayer to a fleeting soul.
A piece of me is gone
buried deep below the ground.
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I'm leaving for New York City tomorrow night. I'm going to visit a few college friends and meet up with Caroline! I'll be gone for a few days, so we'll see if the time away does me some good both mentally and emotionally. I'm just honestly over my town, I couldn't be more grateful for getting out of here. I randomly just broke down the other day and since then I've just wanted to snap on everyone. I just don't know how to feel about anything anymore and if I do feel something, it's all mixed emotions.

I've been planning a photo shoot these past few days, but due to lack of sleep and then a thunderstorm, I haven't been successful at going out and shooting it. Hopefully by the end of next week I'll have it done. We'll see. There's a black and white version of this photo which I'll post somewhere, the smoke just needs some more tweaking, but I'll let ya'll know wherever I decide to post it.
Hope all is well with you guys and happy 25th birthday to my older sister.
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another year older, but this time to nineteen....
Lately I feel like I am running out of time, I've told myself I'd go out and shoot and come up with ideas, but when it comes time to do so half my day is spent! I feel like I am absolutely wasting hours of my day doing nothing. I feel like taking another hiatus was a bad idea because half of June is over and I could've accomplished so much already.
Last week wednesday was my birthday. I turned nineteen. Whooooo *sarcasm*. To be honest I was dreading my birthday, I was so ready for it to be through before it even arrived. I did a presentation this week on photography at a local school and it was there that really made me decide I've wasted so much time doing nothing. I told these young kids to start working toward their goals now because they will be grateful that they did. I wish that when I was that young I would've had someone telling me that, because well, I could've accomplished so much and have with my work where I want it to be.
Part of this post is to reflect on my life as of now. I want to set goals for myself and I want to accomplish them, in fact I want to get out of this slump I've been in since all year. It will make me feel better, I think it will. If I can get out of my bedroom and do something that makes me happy, just explore and create, I think I can ultimately be happy. Just stop wasting time and focus on life, focus on getting better. If I wasn't wasting so much time, I could be so far ahead in all the things I want to do, but now I'm just so far behind. I will finish this project, I am determined too and even more I will be determined in creating work I love, work I can sell. I want to sell my work, yes I'm being selfish here, but I think I could do it. I just need to find the right mindset and I can do it. I can accomplish this.
My goals: create, live, aspire, and be happy.
I need to do those things. I'm not me without them and I need to become me again.
I'm not the same person I was back at day one of this project. I'm a lot different. I want to try to get back to that point in my life. I want to be that happy again. I want to experiment again.
Create
photographs
that
I'm
proud
of.
Lastly, I want to realize my true beauty.
This year has been hell for me. I became a person I never wanted to be again and my goal is to change that. I will surround myself starting now with the things I love and the people who love me. I will do whatever it takes and fight for myself to become who I want to be and to become the artist I want to be. I want to create photographs like my final project. Concepts and ideas that challenge me and make me create art. Artwork I can get into. I'll find inspiration in my favorite artists like Brooke, Amy, and any of my friends. I will travel to new places. This summer I will travel more, I will get out more. I went a few weeks ago to see a friend in Maine. I had to leave, the stress of being home was too much for me to handle. I basically ran away and well, it felt good.
May 26th, I lost my baby. She put up a hard fight, but my body couldn't support her anymore. I'm sorry.
Aurelia Quinn Penke-Repka, my little girl.
November 2010- May 26th, 2011
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