The Crossing - Accomplishments 2011 - Challenge #16
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evv3odAhWhk&feature=youtu.be - Eddie Higgins, "Falando de Amour"
Image above: Another one of life's marvelous bridges to cross (and they are marvelous, even when scary). There's a sensuously curving path on the other side that meanders through beautiful and cloistered woods. It is a soft, gentle, misty autumn day. I'll pause before crossing to contemplate the possible new chapters I will find as I wander, to day-dream and imagine how I might share this path with others I meet on journeys of their own.
The overall dark color of this should not alarm. The deep, dark woods are as joyful and comforting to me, as is a sunlit, balmy day in a fresh flowering Glen in spring.
Thank you my dear, dear friends and fellow travelers: Debbe, Karen and Nick.
Challenge #16 - Accomplishments of 2011" submitted by Nick, “ZedZap” and answered as "What I have learned in 2011" by Karen, “Vintage Findings.”
Karen: “I have learned that I cannot become what I want to be by remaining what I am, even if I don't know what I want to be yet.”
That is one of the best set of words I have read this year – by far. For me, all of the possibilities of the Universe and for each life within it (including my own), are contained in that line.
Note: to me the word "accomplishments" can be good and bad, positive and negative, or neutral. Mainly, they simply are a remembrance (however accurate or not) of some of what you have done the past year of your life.
Bob - Accomplishments:
• I managed to throw myself off an emotional cliff this year – I didn’t think it was possible for a guy like me, as I was “way too old - "ahem," too together - and way too in control” for that. Guess not. I got dashed into tiny, bloodied bits on the jagged rocks of emotional darkness at the bottom. And, man, yeah...it hurt.
• I could have laid there. I could have meandered off aimlessly at the bottom of the ravine. But, I chose to claw, and cry, and breathe, to curse and meditated, and seek to climb my way back up the mountain – humbled and bruised, but deeply savoring that I was, and am, still alive.
• A leap of faith and flinging one's self off a cliff can feel somewhat alike. But, both must - on ocassion - be done. Ultimately I found out I am not "that strong, invulnerable and powerful," and I cannot do "it" (live this life) alone. This year, I did not. I found I have wonderful friends, and a support system, that will help if I would let go of my pride and extend an open and beckoning, little baby hand.
• I managed to lose my sense of purpose for my life and my sense of direction. It just fucking disappeared, dude! Poof! Gone. I kinda' knew why, but its course seemed inexorable.The Dark Side of the Force was calling, beckoning me, seeking to embrace me in its shadows.
• “To the Darkside, I did not turn.” (Yoda voice, please). I begged, cried, questioned, sat in the dark, meditated, fought and fought the darkness within me, (like Luke Skywalker with Yoda, on the Planet Dagobah) and tried opened myself to the universe and its light.
• The light is there. Here. All around. Not in theory, but for real. It is always there. I must allow myself to see it, open myself to feel it. Let myself be absorbed into it. I realized I am not alone. Spirits and Souls, living and past, always walk with us. Listen to them, heed them, allow yourself fall into their safe and glowing light and you will feel the weight slowly releasing from your spirit.
• I found purpose for my life: to live the rest of my life as an artist/writer/photographer
• And a second: to continue to bring joy and smiles and light to as many children, teens, adults, seniors and those with all types of special needs as I can through offering them the chance to catch a fish and (re)connect with wind, water, life, peace.
• And a third: to share with others the bounty and gifts I find in my life, as much as I humanly can, for I cannot take any of this with me.
• I learned to receive with gratitude, to live with gratitude, to live and love with passion, to forgive truly and sincerely, to give myself a break sometimes, for crying out loud, and to share, share, share, as all I need in whatever comes next will be waiting - wherever, whenever.
• I cried more this year than ever while questioning myself. I talked to my ancestors, and to my inner child (he’s funny, creative, inquisitive and wise to be such a little snot). I let myself feel emotions – all of them - and realized, it is okay to be human, to be vulnerable, to deeply feel that each of us is a part of the Wonder of Life of this Universe and we are connected
• I learned a little bit more: the meaning and the value of the words I first heard at age 19: “The Way to Do is to Be, and the Way to Be is to Do,” “Seek to be like Water.” The latter came easily; don't know why, 'jus did. The former? Hell, it only took 42 years for it to begin to soak in. (I may get this “living life” shit down yet.) :-)
• That one can go toe to toe with the old “Existential Crises” and walk away bruised, battered, but whole, growing and evolving. :-)))
This was not an easy year, but I wouldn't trade it for any other.