Beginner's Bible Coloring Book!

Dad, did dinosaurs really exist?
Sure they did, son. The Bible says so. They didn't call them "dinosaurs" back then, but instead they were known as "leviathans" or "behemoths".
But, my science teacher says dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. Is that true?
Of course not, son.
Then how old are they?
Well, let's see. The Bible tells us [from Adam and Eve's family tree] that the Universe is only a few thousand years old. So dinosaurs had to have lived within the past few thousand years. That's simple logic, son.
Oh. So that means they were on Noah's Ark?
Absolutely! The Bible says two of every animal were brought [by God] to the ark. Dinosaurs were animals. So, using your logic again son, dinosaurs had to be on the ark.
Huh. So how come scientists say they're older than that? and died way before Jesus?
Well, son, they just make that up. Dinosaur bones don't have labels on them to tell how old they are. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist saw dinosaurs die-
Dad!
No I'm serious. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.
That's sad. But I thought scientists were smart?
Sure, but they don't know everything. So they have to make stuff up to fit their beliefs. While you and I, we have the facts, straight from the Bible.
I don't want to be a scientist!
Ha! That's ok, son. It's better to be right, than smart. C'mon, wanna learn how to flip burgers like your Dad?
Yeah!

larger one here.

ref.
Answers in Genesis
Conservapedia
Bible, et al

[Update 5/25/07: www.creationmuseum.org . "Prepare To Believe."]

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Comments

cisley says:

Love it.

My favourite name for Dinosaurs is "Jesus Horses"
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Blackwyr says:

That's beautiful; you're killing me. It's a very dynamic-looking Jesus, really. I keep imagining John Wayne westerns featuring--instead of the Duke--Jesus on a dinosaur.

Sorry...on a "Jesus Horse".
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

.roma says:

bitchin'.

loving the coloring hints!, and pretty much the whole coloring book vibe.

check that jesuscloak flaring out in the dinowind.

pfft. science.
good writing.
+ last tag.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

That's gotta be my new favorite term, "Jesus Horse".

I modeled him off of bronze cowboy sculptures, I only wish I could have found better Jesus reference that weren't so confoundingly serene and calm.

Thanks, .roma! that last bit was pretty much the point of the whole thing, for me at least. why should I be the only one depressed? I believe in sharing.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

JohnKit says:

Perfect... Your right, when I showed this to my oldest daughter tonight I made sure she didn't miss that last part. It had not escaped her notice. Ahh... It's nice to have smart kids.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Paulsydney says:

What an utterly asbsurd misrepresentation! The real T Rex only had two claws on each forearm! After that faux pas, how can anything be believed?
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

yah pull one string and it all unravels. It's actually supposed to be a velociraptor. Except it's in the middle of evolving, I think into some kind of ostrich.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Paulsydney says:

A velociraptor is even more absurd than the brachiosaur you posted previously. With an adult velociraptor height of about 36 inches, Jesus goes from being portrayed as having a height of a 3 story building to now being no taller than a very small child. One can argue the age of old bones, but not their size.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Jasmic says:

Ah, but Jesus was omnipotent, and could probably choose how high he was going to be at the start of each day...

--
Seen in my contacts' photos. (?)
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

tuxmentat says:

Priceless!
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Blackwyr says:

Actually, Paul, this is the picture of Jesus as a child. He was small enough to ride raptors back then; it wasn't until adulthood that only the mightiest of brachiosaurs could serve as his steeds.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

SamSpice says:

Amazing!
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Sbmoot says:

Ya gotta love those domesticated velociraptors. As long as you watch out for those teeth and claws, they were just like big puppies. As I recall, the wild ones were made extinct by overhunting in my Great-Grandfather's time. Like the Dodo. But they were still riding the domesticated ones until the fifties, when competition from the horse finally pushed them out of existence.

Ah, yes, I used to love sitting at Grandpa's feet listening to his stories about hunting the wild velociraptors as a boy, his faithful triceratops running along at his side....
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

I'm not sure if it was really as cool as it sounds in bible times. According to www.AnswersinGenesis.com, all dinosaurs were plant eaters. In fact all animals were strictly plant eaters before adam and eve's ironically vegetarian mishap.

I guess all those sharp teeth and claws was just god hedging his bets, assuming we were gonna screw it all up eventually.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Sbmoot says:

I have a blog I use with my students (among other things), and this image was perfect for something I wanted to illustrate, so I blogged it. Thank you for it! antitheses.blogspot.com/2007/03/jesus-rides-d inosaur.html
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

Right on! That's great and your welcome to it for that. Even though I don't agree with your entire thesis. The only reason the 2nd image appears to come from the "inside" and the 1st (mine) does not, is you can clearly see the "messenger" in the 2nd, and you can't get much more inside than a priest.

I dunno. maybe. I have to say the fact that someone somewhere grew up thinking of dinosaurs as "jesus horses" freaks me right the $#%! out.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Frogman2212 says:

ahhh Christianity in a nut shell. Thank you for this awesome image.
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

JimmyTheHoover says:

Sheer brilliance, Mr S - love it
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Paulsydney says:

FYI
www.skepticreport.com/creationism/thingscreat ionistshate.htm
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

drawn2yoo says:

This is the most billiant thing I've ever seen!
Posted 33 months ago. ( permalink )

Djuliet says:

thank god for the "irony" tag!
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

Djuliet says:

"god", ahem!
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

blimpa says:

you need to edit your brilliant descriptions.

or maybe i just have ADD.
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

just in case, I put the cliff's notes in the tags.
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

cisley says:

Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

Thanks, crapshack, but I'm really not a big fan of the ginormous invite comment images. but it was appreciated.
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

blimpa says:

whoah dude. this one got a lot of comments.

jesus is so in right now.
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

Yah, it got blogged on a huge blog (WarrenEllis.com, best comicbook writer working. unless I'm standing in front of Bendis, in which case he is. I have no spine.) which then got it re-blogged a dozen other places. And before the new content filters kicked in, it was on the Explore page, thus 8000 views in a couple weeks.

This jesus guy, he's got some following. they could probably pull an L.Ron Hubbard; start a religion around him, make some money.
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

~Solarina says:

Oh my god i love this! Great description, did you write that? Excellently put :D

Really good drawing too, *fave*
Posted 32 months ago. ( permalink )

Katz_42! says:

Hi, I'm an admin for a group called Trip Society, and we'd love to have your photo added to the group.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

scary-art.com says:

beautiful!
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

FrogMiller says:

I saw this on BadAstronomy.com, and love all of your stuff - wonderful!
Posted 29 months ago. ( permalink )

netkrash says:

Amazing!, greets from BadAstronomy.com :D

Loved your work, really nice! Congrats!!
Posted 29 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

thanks! It's really the gift that keeps on giving.

This one is still my favorite, though.

Posted 29 months ago. ( permalink )

rahid1 says:

Arch!

came via: badastronomy.com
Posted 29 months ago. ( permalink )

montoya.christian says:

So all creationists spend their lives flipping burgers? Are you not aware of how bigoted you are?
Posted 25 months ago. ( permalink )

esaukessler says:

Uhm..yeah. Bigoted, ignorant, unkind, and unfair. Anti-Christian is the new "nazi".
Posted 25 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

I'm completely aware. And feeling that creationism is literal ignorance, is a far cry from being anti-christian. Most christians I know are deeply embarrassed by the creationist "point of view".

Though I do find it hilarious that you can call someone "bigoted" and at the same time compare a difference of opinion with being a nazi.

I can't imagine where my perception of ignorance and arrogance could possibly have come from.

have a nice day.
Posted 25 months ago. ( permalink )

may.shawn says:

I can't favourite this enough.
Posted 25 months ago. ( permalink )

Just Back says:

Well, I'd like to see Jesus try to ride a STEGOSAURUS!
Posted 25 months ago. ( permalink )

Wolfcub says:

As my grandson would say: "I liiike it!"
P.S. Look for images portraying Jesus and the moneychangers.
Posted 24 months ago. ( permalink )

NoneMorePaul says:

Who knew Jebus is cooler than He-Man!?
Posted 21 months ago. ( permalink )

Travis S. says:

Back in my good Bible days I asked my Bible professor about Leviathan. She denied any correlation to dinosaurs. That was in direct conflict with previous interpretations I'd heard. From then on I knew these people were full of crap. They can't keep their stories straight.

Thanks for the Jesus Horse.
Posted 21 months ago. ( permalink )

StringTheory31 says:

Actually, the more we learn through science (real science, meaning study of things we can actually observe, not mere speculation) the more the Bible has been proven correct. Check out AnswersInGenesis.org; they've got a lot of great stuff about it.

And as far as discrimination is concerned, Ben Stein's new movie, "Expelled," makes it pretty clear which "side" is behaving more like a threatened religious group, holding desperately to their faith in something which lacks evidence. As a Christian, I have no problem at all with the Theory of Evolution being presented in schools, provided the Theory of Intelligent Design is presented along with it. Any other theories are welcome to join the party as well; after all, how can students develop scientific critical thinking skills unless they are free to explore alternatives and draw their own conclusions based on an open-minded view of the evidence? Many evolutionists, however, are not only determined to keep their view the only one presented in the classroom, but also don't want professors, scientists, etc. to even acknowledge that competing views exist.

If evolution is so over-overwhelmingly supported by the evidence, why not let the facts be examined, and the evidence speak for itself?
Posted 19 months ago. ( permalink )

Travis S. says:

So why should science class be turned into a religion class? There's an appropriate place for that as well. Are you really saying that we should bring in creation theories from across the globe to the science classroom? If so, then maybe you should listen to the Mayan creation story.

The Mayans said that there were three failed attempts at making humans. The gods wanted to make beings that could work, walk, and talk.

However, on their first try they came up with beings that could only squawk, chatter, and howl. They also could not use their arms to do work. These beings turned out to be the ancestors of animals.

Their second try they made beings from mud. Unfortunately these beings were unable to walk or turn their heads or even keep a solid shape. Eventually these beings were unable to reproduce and dissolved into nothing.

With their third try, the gods attempted to make humans out of wood. These wooden people at first seemed to be a success as they could walk, talk, and reproduce , but it was eventually seen that these were also people who could not keep themselves attached to a strict schedule, nor did they revere their makers as they should.

So a huge storm was cast down on these people, creating a massive deluge with monsters that attacked them. After all is said and done, the only remaining descendants of this group were monkeys.

The fourth and final attempt has one of the gods grinding white and yellow corn that is mixed with water that creates the human flesh. Four people are created from this corn paste: Jaguar Quitze, Jaguar night, Not Right Now, and Dark Jaguar. These four men form the partilineages of the Maya.

This is how humans were created in the eyes of the Maya. In some ways it is similar to your story, as you might say that people were created from dust. I suppose it depends on how literal you take the Bible to be. You may or may not.

But my question remains, that if you do not take the Bible literally, then what do you propose you will teach children in classrooms if not religious stories such as these? Then with that in mind, which stories do you propose that you expose the children to, as seemingly there is an abundance of people that says that their creation story is correct? And then again on this line, how much is too much when you have to fill you lectures with various religious stories when you start to realize that you're leaving the SCIENCE behind? Science teaches of ways in which one can experiment within their natural world to learn something new. The Bible is old news, we already have it written out for us, it's established. We need to learn how we can push forward our knowledge base rather than falling back on something that is static and has no future trajectory. Sure there is knowledge embedded in that Book, but aside from helping us understand how we should morally see the world, does it really help us out with how we actually see the physical world? It gives us a cultural context to work with, that's about it.

So all I'm saying, and maybe you agree, is that in a science class, as long as it's only told that there is a possibility of an Intelligent Designer (be it based on Christian, Mayan, etc. theology), while asserting that there's no scientific proof backing it up, this would be acceptable to me as long as it was kept simple and ambiguous. But if you want to draw in the philosophy and ideological debate behind it, then that should be reserved for another class in the social sciences rather than the natural sciences.

Oh. Btw, the party's over at Jesus! vs. Darwin! I'm sure Youth Pastor would enjoy the back up.
Posted 19 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

Actually if you read the photo description, I cite answersingenesis as not only a source, but the actual inspiration for the piece. If you'd care to show me what exactly is the scientific proof behind either dinosaurs wearing saddles (as depicted in the Creation Museum that the answersingenesis folk co-founded) or even just dinosaurs on Noah's Ark (as explained at the web site)

It's classic ID nonsense, couching religious parables in faux-science.

By the way, here's a great article in Scientific American, entitled:

"Six Things in Expelled That Ben Stein Doesn't Want You To Know".

Facts are tricky. In that they have to be true.
Posted 19 months ago. ( permalink )

Steve & Jemma Copley says:

@StringTheory31

"If evolution is so over-overwhelmingly supported by the evidence, why not let the facts be examined, and the evidence speak for itself?"

Erm... you mean like the endless stream of evidence uncovered every year that supports the scientific theory of evolutiion? And unlike the evidence to support the biblical story of creation which would be, errrr... nothing.

(When I read comments by ID proponents spouting pseudo-intelligent crap, I'm just so thankful that I'm from Europe where these people don't have a strangle-hold on society.)
Posted 18 months ago. ( permalink )

Mike the Awesometographer!!! says:

LMAO :)
Posted 17 months ago. ( permalink )

cisley says:

Digg is going nuts over this image: digg.com/comedy/Jesus_probably_rode_dinosaurs

funny to read that many think it's real.
Posted 17 months ago. ( permalink )

The Searcher says:

Yeah I saw that after I tried to track down the flurry of activity on my stream yesterday. There was also a spike on Google searches for "Beginner's Bible Coloring Book", probably from those folk trying to find out if it was real or not.
Posted 17 months ago. ( permalink )

Glenn_NZ says:

Brilliant ! Saw this on Digg and was convinced that it was legit. Well done! It has a real 1950's naivity with an early 70's comicbook artwork feel to it. Now I'm just waiting for page 9 - Sodom & Gomorrah under a mushroom cloud - "Tactical Strike".
Posted 17 months ago. ( permalink )

jpwhit says:

Any chance of more pages from Beginner's Bible Coloring Book being made?
Posted 17 months ago. ( permalink )

nargalzius says:

Hi The Searcher, you left me a message so I'm here to apologize personally.

I'd like to ask permission though to repost your work (of course with the proper link-back and attribution). The reason why the photo's reposted on my account is kinda complicated; has something to do with how I configured my blog engine to interface with my Flickr account for all images I use in my blog - NOT because I wanted to take credit for it.
Posted 17 months ago. ( permalink )

LarsPowderdry says:

when i was in 6th grade at a Missouri Synod Lutheran School, my principal, who was also my science teacher, taught us that dinosaur bones were planted in the earth 6000 years ago as a joke from God, to blow our tiny lil minds. Youve exposed me here to a much larger world of dino God jokes. Outstanding stuff-the drawings, the color, the paper aging trickery, and of course, the writing
Posted 15 months ago. ( permalink )

Intergalactic Hussy says:

I'm amazed how light Jeebus' skin was! lol Nicely done.
Posted 13 months ago. ( permalink )

Chris1051 says:

I would be honored if you added this to Bible Belt.
Posted 13 months ago. ( permalink )

colodio says:

Another dinosaur who survived the Flood :

Posted 13 months ago. ( permalink )

staceydianaclark says:

i luv it! Especially the names you whipped up for the colors
Posted 12 months ago. ( permalink )

cyclotourist says:

Hello... Dinos were genetically engineered by the sinful yet technologically savvy antediluvian societies prior to the flood. That's when mean-god destroyed all technology.

God is a Luddite, don't you know.

Sheesh, get your story right.
Posted 12 months ago. ( permalink )

Pixel Fantasy says:

Hi, I'm an admin for a group called Totally Boss!, and we'd love to have this added to the group!
Posted 8 months ago. ( permalink )

Old Boone says:

This was my wallpaper on my work computer for months. I absolutely love this image. Thanks for the laughs.

And kudos to StringTheory31 for the extra chuckle I got from reading her post then looking at her photostream of crocheting and cats.
Posted 8 months ago. ( permalink )

Travis S. says:

I tried to re-find this by looking for "dinosaur" + "jesus" and was surprised to find other people re-posting this and having them show up before this one. That's a little messed up....

I did kinda like Palinosaurus though.
Posted 8 months ago. ( permalink )

myeshabushnell says:

*pets Dino* isn't he the sweetest thing ever i wanta have a pet dino
i'll pray to god to get my one O.O
Posted 6 months ago. ( permalink )

drewinchicago says:

I like his pretty flowing hair. Jesus looks good on a dinosaur. You must use flesh of Christ when coloring. Duh!
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )

Philipp Berndt! says:

i LOVE the coloring on this one!
Posted 4 months ago. ( permalink )

Chris1051 says:

I was hoping you would read your flickr mail but in case you don't I found this. You may want to have a word:

link

blog post
Posted 3 months ago. ( permalink )

BipolarTabbyCat 3 says:

The real icing on the cake would be if it were crayon'd purple like Barney.
Posted 3 months ago. ( permalink )

fistonz says:

wawwuuu
Posted 3 months ago. ( permalink )

immortalfriendstotheworld says:

Hi, I'm an admin for a group called the funnist flickr group in the world, and we'd love to have this added to the group!
Posted 6 weeks ago. ( permalink )

immortalfriendstotheworld says:

Hi, I'm an admin for a group called just4laughs, and we'd love to have this added to the group!
Posted 6 weeks ago. ( permalink )

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Beginner's Bible Coloring Book!

Comments

cisley says:

Blackwyr says:

.roma says:

The Searcher says:

JohnKit says:

Paulsydney says:

The Searcher says:

Paulsydney says:

Jasmic says:

tuxmentat says:

Blackwyr says:

SamSpice says:

Sbmoot says:

The Searcher says:

Sbmoot says:

The Searcher says:

Frogman2212 says:

JimmyTheHoover says:

Paulsydney says:

drawn2yoo says:

Djuliet says:

Djuliet says:

blimpa says:

The Searcher says:

cisley says:

The Searcher says:

blimpa says:

The Searcher says:

~Solarina says:

Katz_42! says:

scary-art.com says:

FrogMiller says:

netkrash says:

The Searcher says:

rahid1 says:

montoya.christian says:

esaukessler says:

The Searcher says:

may.shawn says:

Just Back says:

****Wolfcub**** says:

NoneMorePaul says:

Travis S. says:

StringTheory31 says:

Travis S. says:

The Searcher says:

Steve & Jemma Copley says:

Mike the Awesometographer!!! says:

cisley says:

The Searcher says:

Glenn_NZ says:

jpwhit says:

nargalzius says:

LarsPowderdry says:

Intergalactic Hussy says:

Chris1051 says:

colodio says:

staceydianaclark says:

cyclotourist says:

Pixel Fantasy says:

Old Boone says:

Travis S. says:

myeshabushnell says:

drew*in*chicago says:

Philipp Berndt! says:

Chris1051 says:

BipolarTabbyCat 3 says:

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immortalfriendstotheworld says:

immortalfriendstotheworld says:

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Wolfcub says:

drewinchicago says: