austin combs' photostream

I feel like I'm stuck on a page halfway through a book with no knowledge of what I have read. I'm forced to put together the pieces and make sense of words that are absolutely foreign to me. I don't want to find out who I am, I want to create myself, but what if I'm simply headed down the path of destruction? I want to catch up, I want someone to reach back and pull me forward because I'm tired of falling behind. Everything feels so monotonous at this point, bittersweet nights spent with the one I love have become quite regular and I feel as if I'm losing touch with everything and everyone. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I'm numb, bitter. I don't want to be told I'm all right when I know everything is wrong and I am actually a mess. Reach out, run your fingers along my jawline and pinch hard when you reach my chin. I want to feel. Look me in the eyes and pull me forward, scream. I want to hear. Clear the fog that seems to be preventing me from being completely and effortless happy and look me in the eyes, cold as ice. I want to see. I want to be picked up before I fall any further because it's not much longer until I reach the ground. I crave your affection, or any affection at all for that matter. I want to feel, but more importantly, I want to be felt. To love, to be loved in return. To understand, and to be understood.