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Oracle morons

Oracle morons by AndyArmstrong.
Hey, that's a great thing to send to someone whose much loved Powerbook
as just died. Stupid stupid stupid Oracle. 

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Benji Haworth says:

Who/what are Oracle?
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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AndyArmstrong  Pro User  says:

For real? Biggest database company in the world. C*cksuckers.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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MikeDavis  Pro User  says:

So they've just sent out a load of boxes of shredded paper? Is there anything else in there?
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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AndyArmstrong  Pro User  says:

Nope. It's actually quite an elaborate papercraft laptop.

And having actually read the cretinous text it now seems that it's an announcement of something akin to DRM - except they're calling it Information Rights Management. So that'll be right up my street.

I have no idea why they sent it to me. I've never expressed the slightest curiosity about Oracle's products (other than privately wondering how they can charge so much for so little).
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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mattmagic says:

Nice waste of materials.
Plus I like your tags ;)
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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Benji Haworth says:

I prefer Ceefax myself.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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Jon Wyatt  Pro User  says:

maybe someone sent it you in an attempt to lift you from your depressed state once they knew you'd lost your powerbook.....
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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simondbarnes says:

LOL @ Benji :)
The tags are ace.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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AndyArmstrong  Pro User  says:

Here's Cory Doctorow's explanation of the shitware they're pedalling:

http://www.informationweek.com/news/showArtic le.jhtml?articleID=196601781
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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philtonkin says:

I haven't got one of those, they must only send them to those they don't like.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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Jon Wyatt  Pro User  says:

Jesus, I bet whoever sent that to Andy as a joke is really regretting it now.


Probably wishing he'd written 'Emergency Powerbook replacement' on it like he first thought of doing.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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AndyArmstrong  Pro User  says:

Yeah, quite odd that they sent it to me. Envelope was hand addressed too. I suspect PR agencies employ hoards of people just to do that though - to give their missives that personal touch.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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AndyArmstrong  Pro User  says:

In fact I wouldn't be surprised if their employing folk from Leigh - where the wages are cheap :)
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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TonyStubbings says:

These people give cocaine a bad name
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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simondbarnes says:

Ace :)
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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bIueme  Pro User  says:

Please consider joining us at Ridiculous Marketing Nonsense with this picture, we've no marching powder but we can talk rubbish for ages.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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steverile says:

I half wrote a 'Please add your pic to the coke-addled planet-raping marketing circle jerk Pool' comment yesterday.
...but I see truth is clearly stranger than fiction :)
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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stewartpratt  Pro User  says:

I wonder what you get if you stick the bits of paper together? :)


(boredom and disappointment, I'm guessing, but hey, here's hoping it's a juicy internal memo, possibly something like "FAO Jane Doe, PA to Marketing: Jane, the mirrors are running dry, please order more crack. Oh and some cardboard, we need to send out some rack servers with sawdust in them.")
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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DanMaudsley  Pro User  says:

Nah Benji - Teletext all the way
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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bosvark says:

Microsoft sent me (not my wife) a real live PINK rose the other day. They said "a little on the side is OK" and that I should consider SQLServer over Oracle.

I had some effort in explaining the origin of the pink rose to my wife.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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uitlander  Pro User  says:

I imagine that the in-house blame game (a company wide sport they could win gold medals for) will have reached silly proportions by now.

I bet their mail severs are creaking under the strain as everyone in marketing blames everyone else for this, extending their ridiculous 'I didn't do it, blame xxx instead' CC list at every click of the mouse.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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xxx Rock Tubs says:

I lol'd personally excellent work getting yourself on El Reg.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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mattmagic says:

You've made Engadget now!
www.engadget.com/2007/07/07/oracle-ships-card board-laptops/
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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scooper says:

Remind me again why you're so grumpy about receiving this pretty cool gift?
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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AndyArmstrong  Pro User  says:

Mainly because the technology it's advertising is a thoroughly objectionable phone-home DRM scheme.

See the link above to the Information Week article for more information.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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thekeithhall  Pro User  says:

If you're bored you could try and stick it all back together and see if it makes sense.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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hdotnet  Pro User  says:

take it to PC World and ask them to upgrade it to Vista.
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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seamonkey says:

Marvelous next idea from some pony tailed nose food snorter marketing f**k will be a personalised mouse carved from the hindbone of a dalmation
Posted 30 months ago. ( permalink )

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