me: hello is that the sky customer help desk
help desk person: yes
me: my remote control isnt working
help desk person: send in your hand held device and we will ascertain why it isnt operating for you
2 months later
help desk person: we have examined your hand held device and would like to ask the following?
help desk person: we have found a lot of dribble with baby formula, broccoli, sweet potato, parsnip, apple & porridge lodged between the buttons - any idea as to how it happened.
me: sorry no idea at all
Evie: starts crying...
help desk person: I think that I can hear the problem...
...do you have a baby there?
help desk person: does it put the remote control in its mouth?
me: if thats your attitude *slams phone down* ;o)