Hello My Old Heart
Self.
I've been receiving a lot of messages and emails at the moment saying a lot of wonderful things, people being really supporting and complimentary. I've also noticed that people have been mentioning they've picked up on how I often seem troubled and sad...which makes me wonder, do I really project that?
I want to make it clear I truly appreciate every single message and email I get, I read them all and they mean the word to me, just I find I'm reflecting a lot on how my images and writing are perceived. Leads me to a lot of reflection.
For example...
'I was struck by your beauty and your sadness at the same time. Hard to think that both go hand in hand for me to understand'
Obviously this is an incredibly nice email snippet I received recently, and am completely flattered (though of course the compliment is based on my self portraits which are edited so I keep that in perspective) but the most distressing part is that this lovely stranger picked up a feeling of sadness from me.
I have, for most of my years, considered myself an optimist! I feel, greatly, and every moment is important to me, even the pain that comes along in life. I tend to capture more personal work (selfs) in the more challenging times in my life, mostly because when I 'feel' more I tend to like to vent with my camera. My selfs also often have an air of fragility about them, which could project to others as sadness, but to me I like to show how a person can show their honesty, their fears and fragility, it's something exposing and honest about it, and I never actually intended this to come off as sad.
Regardless of all this I am happy for my images to be seen how each individual wants to see them, and mean whatever they mean to each person...but I do need people to know, I am not sad. I feel, everything, and I find that keeps me hopeful and happy to be alive! I soak in the good moments as well as the bad, but see the light in everything.
So don't fret about me guys :) I am truly very happy to be alive xxx