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The subject of hormones came up this week at work. We joke sometimes how several of us will come into work wearing the same colors...we compare it to women living together and their menstrual cycles start to sync. There must be something similar with moods and dress and what those colors mean. When hormone surges take over, it's like a veil comes down. I can see and hear everything, but it's behind that veil...so it's a little surreal. I was reading a book recently where a character was brainwashed...his real memories were taken and distorted and as he was recovering, he would relate a memory and then ask real or not real? He said the not real memories he was starting to learn were kind of shimmery. I get that! That distortion that can happen.

I've taken pills for depression. They were *the* thing for the time I took them...but they did produce that veil...I got used to it, but there came a point when I was ready to move away from them. The veil went from being a helpful thing to being detrimental...at least for me. what I did find, though, is I have these anxiety or panic attacks. They...are....freaky! Sometimes I can talk myself down and breathe real slow and count 1.2.3 in...1.2.3 out...that sort of thing. Other times, I am crippled. This is a bottle of xanax. That's what I take when they are threatening to cripple. I woke up this morning about 2 and my stomach was in knots...I breathed and breathed and breathed (always a good thing to be breathing at all, I suppose) and would get to sleep...then BAM...it would come back and wake me up. I finally took one of these...but even several hours later I was short of breath and fretting and worried, so I took another.

I think some of these come from nowhere...just something chemical. But I know some come from another topic that has come up at work...the fact that most of walk around with a high level of stress and have made that our normal state when it shouldn't be. My major resolution this year was to face some of my stressors instead of sweeping them under the carpet (I actually do have a few area rugs where I've been doing this...the rest of the floors are travertine and wall to wall carpet). THIS IS VERY HARD TO DO...AND TO KEEP ON DOING! But I cannot tell a lie...these little babies are an important piece of the puzzle!

Which I enjoyed immensely. I also moved my drums (and played them) in preparation for a piano!! A friend at work had one she wanted to sell...and baddabing! I wanted to buy! It is painted white which another friend suggested I add glitter to. I love this idea. That means we have drums, a guitar and a piano. I see a band in the making. What else did I do? A lot of stuff at work...like any other day...there's always lots of stuff to do there. The plumber guy from Dave's plumbing came by and replaced a part in my toilet. He barely made it here in his 2 hour window, but I really can't be angry...the traffic around here is horrendous.

I did my dishes! I folded some laundry! I got the mail out of my mailbox! AND watched a hilarious Tosh.o...when isn't he hilarious? Ummmmmmm....I dunno....that might be it...oh wait! I visited the Tae Kwan Do place that's right near here to ask about starting my daughter there. I liked talking to him. We'll go on Saturday so she can have a free session and evaluation...I dug the vibe there. He made me feel calm. And that's not easy to do.

You see the welcome sign in the background...that is welcome to the *PAIN*! Overdue books? *long*overdue books? Ninja librarian will spring from the shadows to reclaim what belongs to the citizens of the library's area of service. Ha-YA!

Don't let the foofy scarves fool you...

All I know is...it's time to put up or shut up. I started a 365 and lamely fell off the wagon. I've decided that instead of starting another, I'm going to try to play catch up. So...and I may have said this on some earlier image...this will be Abchick's version of a 365. As long as I get all the pics in in one year, I'll be *thrilled*!!

Is that still lame? *shrug*