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I was away from this place for two whole days and it felt like a piece of me was missing.

I'd love a pretzel. Sliced in half and filled with peanut butter. Warm. On a plate. And a cup of black tea with a little bit of cocoa and milk (2%) stirred in. And some chopped frozen mangoes (thawed) in a bowl with a dash of cinnamon and plain yogurt.

I've been fasting for the last 20 hours. I've got another 14 to go. It's all in preparation for my second colonoscopy tomorrow morning. My first one was 5 years ago, just before my 30th birthday.

My mom was 37 when she died in 1982. Of colon cancer.

If by some random chance my mom had had a colonoscopy at age 35, it might have saved her life. And she'd still be here. And I would be able to talk to her and see her and ask her questions about things I don't understand. And I'd probably have bought her an iPad and she'd text me with random tech support questions and tell me to watch my mouth on Facebook. And maybe I'd have a better relationship with my dad. And my brother would know his mother a little better and understand why, 30 years later, it's still easy for me to miss her and "her way" of living life.

Or something like that.

So it's impossible to go through this and not think about my mom. It's my way to fight the ugly disease that took her too early. In two years, I'll be the same age she was when she died. And I'll be damned if cancer is going to sneak up on me. If that's how I'm going to leave this life (someday), so be it. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of not living enough before I die.

But if cancer wants me, it is going to have to kick down the *front* door (there's a weird, ironic joke in there...back door, colonoscopy-I don't know, let's laugh about that in a day or so, mkay?).

I'm totally looking forward to that pretzel. It's going to be radical.

I caught a kite surfer soaring over the waves in Davenport, California yesterday. These folks are totally nuts. It adds a whole other dimension to surfing. And you can watch safely from the beach, which is exciting when a big set comes in.

This looks better big.

For awhile now, I've been obsessed with this vision of being on Treasure Island for sunset. It's been burning in my mind for at least a couple of months.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a mind full of the regular, Saturday morning "stuff I need to do." Then I said f^%k that and decided to drive up the coast instead. I didn't have a plan. I just knew I wanted to be on Treasure Island for sunset. The best road trips are the ones you let yourself make up along the way.

I drove up Highway 1 to the Pigeon Point. I love the lighthouse (I once spent a *very* stormy night asleep in my car near the lighthouse because I was too tired to drive home to San Jose), but I've never actually been up close to it. They're in the early stages of a restoration, so the glass from the top of the tower is on display in an adjacent barn. Go see it. It's impressive. Over 1000 pieces of ground glass were carefully disassembled and brought down, cleaned and then reassembled for the public to see.

From there, I went on to Half Moon Bay (need to go back and spend more time there) and then over Highway 92 to Highway 280 and half-way over the Bay Bridge to Treasure Island. I got there just in time for a hazy, chilly sunset.

I love this place. So glad I said f^%k it.