We are one of these poor banks that was blinded by this appealing American banking system (because you can make tons of money with it and can pay your executive staff high bonuses for their great work).
Now we know how to not do it and we are so regretful that you won't even believe it yourself. We are just a few billion Euros in debt.
So please donate your money to us.
We only want the best of you - your money.