- Last Year
- Even your pumpkin is sweating it out on your porch! - justtheprettiest
Hershey's Miniatures of the Damned
Well, Halloween is nearly upon us. Last year was the first year in this house and I've got to say that we were really disappointed. We came from a neighborhood where the kids were all young thugs and sometimes we didn't even know if the cars rolling up contained trick-or-treaters or a drive-by. It was some pretty edgy trick or treating. Still, in the spirit of the season, we sat on the porch under the red light bulb and celebrated the reason for the season. The mister with a bandana over his face and me dressed up like...er..I don't know usually something dead...it varies...anyway...
...the kids here are...well...wimps. Last year, we piled up all excited on the porch swing with candy waiting on the kids. One by one, they were too scared to come on our porch. First the mister was playing the musical saw for effect and you'd think he was skinning children from the response he got. The kids stood at the end of the driveway shaking and crying. Their parents kept trying to coax them up but they weren't having it. They chose to bypass our house instead. We felt like lepers! The new lepers in the neighborhood who make kids cry!
I then convinced him to put the saw away and move on to the accordion. Still scared! Scared of the accordion! We weren't even dressed up scary! They were scared of an accordion!
Finally, with no music and little left of the joy of the season, we shoved huge fists full of candy into the bags of the few kids who actually ended up in our midst and went inside thoroughly disappointed.
I remember as a kid being scared but excited as we went from stranger's house to stranger's house even with our mom trailing several yards behind us keeping a watchful eye. With white knuckles, we went to the man's house who dressed up like the Phantom of the Opera and played the huge organ in his front room....we even went to the house of the Confederates ( a Southern biker gang who were considered our local version of the Hell's Angels - I remember going to their door dressed like an angel with a white choir robe on and a halo made out of a wire hanger and Christmas tinsel and having one of the girl Confederates scream, "Ya'll come look!! She's a little angel!!" after which a pile of big bikers laughed at how sweet I was )...
...What did we do? We worked it out and got the loot, like kids should do. Razors in apples? So what! Arsenic in the popcorn balls? Who gives a flying flip!? Mean dogs?? Creepy Neighbors?? Bring it on!! We knew our jobs. We put on those tight little plastic suits that split in the crotch after two sets of front steps and rustled for blocks, blind as bats and clutching our cheap plastic K-Mart jack-o-lanterns and screeching behind sweaty plastic masks, "TRICK OR TREAT!!" while our eyelashes fought for room and our tongues were cut to shreds as we tried to suck in air through the tiny mouth holes. Why? Because we were kids! It was Halloween! We got it done!
I don't know what's wrong with the kids in our area but it's bumming me out for this year. I want to dress all scary and jump out at them and shriek like a wild banshee. I want to chase them down the street while waving a plastic sickle. I want to make them stick their hands into jars of fake brains and gizzards. I want them to step up to the plate, for pete's sake!
I hate to sound like an old grouch but I sure hope it's better this year....or next year, they are going to get a bucket full of stale candy corn and cheap circus peanuts at the end of the driveway with a note that says, "You had your chance. You blew it. Now get out of my yard."