Some stories of cows, not Irish
Two Cows
Democrat:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money
to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money,
buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Socialist:
You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Republican:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
So?
Communist:
You have two cows. The government seizes both
and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,
and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American Style:
You have two cows. The government taxes you
to the point you have to sell both to support a
man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.
Bureaucracy, American Style:
You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back
to yourself and do an IPO on the second one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when one cow
drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
French Corporation:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.
Japanese Corporation:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
German Corporation:
You have two cows. You engineer them so they
are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run
a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation
per year.
Italian Corporation:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
Russian Corporation:
You have two cows. You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation:
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's
private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew
them up while they were in the hospital.
Florida Politics:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best,
vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell
you which is the best-looking one.
Check out Quirky Cow products here!
Comments and faves
Magic Bubbles, FioCullen!!, Elise chan, christinamartins, and 30 other people added this photo to their favorites.
Rice and D (73 months ago | reply)
Awesome!
afficionada (68 months ago | reply)
i love the close up of the nose...great. where is this?
sonofwalrus (68 months ago | reply)
This is great! The tones are beautiful. I opened it in its original size and almost wet myself giggling! Thanks.
robotwolf (68 months ago | reply)
Excellent photo. Right lens used, good focus. Text is good too, I especially liked the French Corporation insight.
Kit Haselden Photography (66 months ago | reply)
great shot!! :)
julibuli photography (65 months ago | reply)
Fabulous photo!! I got a few chuckles from the text !
X.Nicky.X [deleted] (64 months ago | reply)
loved the pic lmao at the rest (nice one)
BEY CHUA (61 months ago | reply)
moo! nice shot
seen in:
www.flickr.com/groups/tresdosuno321faves/
Demonic A.s.b.mee (50 months ago | reply)
I love cows! ^.^
eloyhouse (48 months ago | reply)
Hi, I'm an admin for a group called dairy cows, and we'd love to have this added to the group!
peta2flickr (47 months ago | reply)
So cute!
marcellucray (44 months ago | reply)
Hi, I'm an admin for a group called worldlightning, and we'd love to have this added to the group!
ferradij (43 months ago | reply)
Bonjour, je suis l'administrateur du groupe Vaches, et nous aimerions beaucoup que vous ajoutiez ceci à notre groupe !
ferradij (43 months ago | reply)
Bonjour, je suis l'administrateur du groupe Portrait de vaches, et nous aimerions beaucoup que vous ajoutiez ceci à notre groupe !
Michelle Lyles (43 months ago | reply)
Thanks so much everyone! The photo I took in Ireland somewhere in the countryside one foggy morning looking for leprachauns.. the text I just added from an email a friend sent!
Thank you also for the invitations to your groups.
shadycam (41 months ago | reply)
Cows and wide angle lenses: a match made in heaven!
mariczka (38 months ago | reply)
Hi, I'm an admin for a group called Shutter Crack, and we'd love to have this added to the group!
KFrench Photography (33 months ago | reply)
Love this whole thing. Brilliant shot of the cows. Nice work.
Goober Bear (33 months ago | reply)
Great photo. I would love to have this photo in the "Cows!!" group
haffpynt (29 months ago | reply)
I have seen forms of that prose but this is especially great! And the pic rocks too!
DutchPascal (26 months ago | reply)
good shot and tones
chandy candy (26 months ago | reply)
i think i love you.
LeahStunts (20 months ago | reply)
Great shot.